Friday, September 28, 2012

A Must Read: A Private Gentleman by Heidi Cullinan" style="float: left; padding-right: 20px">A Private Gentleman
" />A">">A Private Gentleman by Heidi">">Heidi Cullinan

My rating: 5">">5 of 5 stars

Two hopelessly flawed men discover that they aren't as hopelessly flawed as they suspected. A son of a whore who becomes a whore himself and the painfully shy, socially awkward, stammering son of a marquess meet in the most unlikely of situations and start a love affair with a dark, unspoken and painful  secret between them.

I must admit, I am not just an epilogue whore, I'm a history whore as well and this story had me enthralled in the historical references, the sensitive subjects it touched on and confronted, from the beginning to the end, and the love that seemed to just bleed off the pages to puddle at my feet.

I love Heidi's work, that is no secret, but this is going on my "go-to" list along with other books that I love and can read anytime. Between Wes's desperate yearning for anyone to look beyond his stammer to the man beneath and Michael's need for someone to want the scholar that lurks beneath the body of a "professional sodomite", this story was filled with moments of intense realism, emotion, pain and through it all that blissful acceptance I think we all search for.

While there was no clearly marked "Epilogue" the Epilogue Whore that roars within me settled down and was slumbering peacefully by the end of this book and wonder of wonders the story ended so damn beautifully I don't even feel the need to ask for a sequel.

I recommend this book to everyone because you will learn something, sigh, laugh, weep and love alongside Wes and Michael and when the book is over walk away a little different than you were when you first started reading it.

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Sunday, September 9, 2012

Late Night Thinking

I'm up at almost 3am. Not because I'm writing, though I wish I were, but I'm not. I'm up because I'm thinking.

Calm down. It does happen occasionally.

I'm thinking about being blind. What it means to me, the things I lost, the people and the parts of myself that are no longer the same. The people who have walked away from me, either because they couldn't handle it or because they didn't want to be with me any longer. Friends and family that are no longer in my life. Love interests that I no longer have or that I won't have. The places I won't be able to see and the things I'll never be able to do. And you know what? I don't know if this is permanent but I do know that I am no longer the same.

While in certain ways I am a whole lot more confident before at the same time I feel wracked with more insecurities than ever before. Who will want me? Will I still be able to write? Was my birth mother right? Am I being punished for something?

And I know what people will say to me about that. I know the cliches and the assurances that I will be given but late at night when I'm all alone... again, I hear those questions again.

I am trying to fight them as best as I can, but it's not easy. Nothing is anymore. So I'm up thinking...


What about you guys? Is there anything that keeps you up late at night, thinking?

Maybe we can encourage each other and help each other think about the good things and not the bad things that keep us up at 3 o'clock in the morning.

-Vicktor Aleksandr B

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Interviewed at SJD Peterson's Blog Today

I'm being interviewed over at SJD Peterson's blog today about being a reader at GRL last year and my anticipation for being an author at  GRL this year. I get to kick it off, she's doing a month long thing. I'd appreciate it if you would go and leave a comment.

For everyone who leaves a comment, you will be entered into a contest to win a paperback copy of my upcoming release, Elian.

Hope to hear from you all.