RIP Nelson Mandela

The One Where Vic Blogs About World AIDS Day

Today is World's AIDS day. The theme is "Getting to Zero."

Have you and your loved ones been tested? Regardless of how committed you are to each other, being tested is still important.

AIDS and HIV have really affected me, I have lost people to it and I currently have two of the most precious people in my life living with (not dying from) the HIV disease. They are two of the strongest, most amazing men I know and I love them very much, but because of them I make sure that I get tested whenever I can. Because of them I am even more diligent about being tested. Because of my friend, Justin, who died from AIDS, who was fully committed to a man who was not fully committed to him, I am fierce about making sure I NEVER leave my house without a condom (or two or three-because let's face it, it's me) and that I always get tested.

Today is the day when the entire world turns its attention towards this very serious, fatal disease and we focus on how to cure it, how to end it, what we can do to educate each other on it. And I want you, my readers, my author friends, family, friends, acquaintances, etc. to be safe. So if it's been a while, go and get tested. If you know that someone needs to be tested, volunteer to go with them. But let's work towards getting the number of those living with HIV and AIDS down to zero.

-Vic

 http://www.worldaidsday.org/

The One Where Vic Blogs About A Special Christmas Request for Someone Else

*Important*

Okay, you guys know me. I donate. I'm a giver. I'm not perfect. I never pretend that I am. I don't judge. I don't condemn, criticize or judge. I give back. I try to make the world a better place. I forgive those that hurt me and I move on. I want to be a world changer. I always have been. I want my daughter and any other children I have to be proud to have me as their father. I said all that to say this:


I just heard a story and I want you all to get involved. The Christmas season is coming upon us and I know everyone is probably scrambling around buying presents last minute for family and kids, but I'm asking you, if you can to help out these two very special causes.

The first is a young girl: Naidelin, 11, who lives in South Carolina. She has cystic fibrosis. The doctors have given her six months to live. Her family is poverty stricken, her older sister and her four children live in the home with Naidelin and her parents. Naidelin can no longer attend school and has an IEP where tutors/teachers come out to her home to teach her, however after about 1.5 hours she is struggling for breath and in pain and it becomes too difficult for her to continue. Her parents are barely able to pay for their bills and Naidelin's hospital bills which means that Naidelin will be going without Christmas presents this year. Naidelin likes Hello Kitty, SpongeBob SquarePants, she is in the sixth grade and focusing on math and english (so any of those helpful toys/electronics would be great), she hates baby dolls and barbie dolls, likes batman, and wants a blanket.

The second is Morningside Middle School in South Carolina: This school is in desperate need of computers. It is a Title One school. Many of the female students there aspire to growing up, having children and getting on welfare because that's what their mothers did and they barely know better. However, they have a few teachers there now who are teaching them that they can aspire to better, but there is a new policy that is going to be coming into play that is supposed to help them, but it will only benefit schools that have computers, because instead of allowing students to breeze through school and just guess at the right answer, multiple choice questions will disappear and students will have to show their work. Morningside does not have enough computers at their school and many of their students do not have the comprehension to be able to speak or write to be able to use one to be able to use one efficiently. I want to be able to supply this school with some computers. They don't have to be top of the line, but I think it would be awesome to either send the school a check from "The GLBTQ Community" (LOL) or buy a bunch of computers and have them just be delivered or something (Unless someone lives in South Carolina and can deliver them?) I'm thinking if we can donate about 5 or 6 computers that will go a long way to helping that school which is about 1300-2000 if we don't get top of the line.

If you want to help out, you can send the gifts:

                    Vicktor Alexander
                    For Naidelin
                    5549 Black Hawk Lane
                    Lakeland, FL 33810

If you want to help out Morningside Middle School, address the checks TO Morningside Middle School (DO NOT address them to me, I don't want to be responsible for that) or buy a gift card to Best Buy or Walmart.


If you can't help, I completely understand, but for those of you who do something, even if all you do is send a Christmas card to Naidelin or something to the kids at Morningside, thank you so much. I appreciate you. I'll keep you all updated.


-Vic

Transgender Day of Rememberance

From the NBJC:

Friends, On this day, thousands will gather across the globe to observe Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR). It is on this day that the world will pause to honor and remember the lives of our loved ones lost due to anti-transgender violence.  Many of those whose names are sounded on this day will never be recognized by the mainstream media--meaning the public outrage over their senseless deaths will never take place. Today, we say their names for the world to hear. Today, we speak out about the heinous crimes being committed against a whole segment of our community. Today, wehold accountable the perpetrators of those crimes, the failed justice system investigating those crimes that are still unsolved, the media outlets that mis-gender and disrespect the victims of those crimes, and society for failing to create safe and affirming climates, thus making such crimes possible and acceptable.    According to a 2012 study conducted by theNational Coalition Against Violence Projects (NCAVP), transgender women and people of color encounter the most severe forms of violence. In fact, the report found that 53.8% of anti-LGBTQ homicide victims in 2012 were transgender women. This is a considerable increase from 2011 (40%), and continues a three-year trend of disproportionate and severe violence experienced by transgender women.   However, these lives are not lost in vain. As we gather in community to remember our fallen, we must own this platform as an opportunity to take action. Allies and trans people together must continue to support efforts from organizations such as the National Black Justice Coalition, the Trans People of Color Coalition (TPOCC), theNational Gay and Lesbian Task Force, and the National Center for Trans Equality (NCTE), alongside the many more individuals and organizations that have dedicated their time, efforts and resources to the wellbeing and equity of trans people of color.   As we pause to mourn today, we must also remember that there are trans women and men making amazing strides toward true equality for our community every day. From trailblazers like Janet Mock and Laverne Cox, uplifting the authentic stories of Black trans women in popular media, to Kylar Broadus, the first transgender person to testify before the United States Senate, to historians and icons like Valerie Spencer, Monica Roberts and Earline Budd, who work had to ensure that the lives and stories of the Trans community are not lost. These few out of the many are examples of why we must celebrate all members of our community every day. Progress like the recently Senate-endorsed Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) that seeks to protect the rights of lesbian, gay AND trans individuals in the workplace would not be possible if it were not for the tenacity and resilience of the transgender community. This week there are numerous events around the world honoring and remembering our departed. Today, the NBJC family will observe Transgender Day of Remembrance at theMetropolitan Community Church, which will also recognize local trans community leaders and allies. Join us at 6:00 pm at 474 Ridge Street NW, Washington, DC 20002.   For a full list of worldwide events, visit TDOR Events and Locations 2013.   The NBJC family will stand in solidarity with our trans brothers and sisters as we fight to eradicate transphobia and end the silencing violence against members of our community.

The One Where Vic Blogs About Quitting

I am not a quitter.

I've never been one who just quits without thinking about it and having no other option but to walk away. I'd much rather be kicked out than to walk off and find out that I could have stayed around.

I'm also not very emotional or sensitive.

I've been through way too much in my life to be mired down in emotions. You can't go through the hell I've gone through and be emotionally sensitive. And I've endured a lot. The end of an eleven year friendship over a guy who wanted to have both me and my friend at the same time so he lied on the both of us to each other. I've survived hell, gossip, lies, criminal activity I've done and that I've had done to me, I've survived losing my family and I've survived getting them back, I've survived medical problems, losing people I thought cared about me, finding out that some people just are not trustworthy no matter how "nice" they seem, I've survived heartache, heartbreak, and everything in between.

But for the last two weeks I've thought seriously about quitting.

No, not quitting life, quitting writing.

I really got sick of the pettiness, the lying, the gossiping, backstabbing, the negativity, and the "clique" mentality. It weighed heavily on my soul. I couldn't take it. Not the two-faced behavior or the superior attitudes. I couldn't write because every time I sat down to do so I was bombarded with tweets, Facebook statuses, blog posts, reviews, etc. not necessarily about me but about other people, other authors, bloggers, reviewers, readers... I have teased with other authors about having graduated from high school over 12 years ago but it's not a joke. I didn't want to deal with it.

I've learned the beauty of forgiveness, second chances, and moving past a hurtful incident just in dealing with friends and family over the past few years but how do you handle an environment that's constantly toxic?

My thought for a week and a half was to leave it. Walk away and never look back. That's what I was gonna do. This was gonna be my last year as an author. I was going to shut down everything and just turn to something else to do with my life.

Then, while talking to an aspiring author who is a friend of mine, who really just encouraged me, I realized that the best way to try and handle a toxic environment is to take your medication to build up your immune system and then go into that toxic environment and change it from the inside out.

So, I didn't tell anyone besides those who needed to know that I was thinking of quitting, but the encouragement I got from those who didn't know was just as refreshing and beautiful as the encouragement from those who did know.

So, while my soul is still battered, and my spirit is still bruised and my heart is still a little broken I have decided not to quit writing.

Thank you to those of you who have supported me tirelessly and unconditionally. Thank you to those of you who encourage me daily, weekly, monthly, or even yearly. And for those of you who have decided to stick by me after either having to forgive me or having to ask for my forgiveness, thank you.

And to every author, blogger, reviewer, and reader who has thought, is thinking, or will ever think about quitting this genre because of all the nonsense and negativity, remember that there are just a few bad apples, but the whole bunch isn't bad. We have to stop walking away and taking away the goodness because of the badness out there. If anything, we need to stand together more and make that light shine brighter.

I hope you all have a great weekend!

-Vicktor A. B.

Never Forget

I will never forget.

It is a day etched in my memory.

9-11-01.

I awoke after a night of drinking and sex, dazed and running late for my theater class at USF. I rushed to class noticing the lack of students out. When I arrived in my class the television was on and the class, usually full of energetic dramatists stood silent as they watched the horror unfold on the screen.

I thought of my friend, Justin, who lived in the city and my grandfather, aunt and cousins who lived in Harlem. I was afraid. I was angry. I was sad. But even more than that I was determined to do what I could to ensure that America stood strong.

I had a roommate who was in the Air Force who was immediately recalled and prepared to go to war. I had friends who were in the marines and the army who I can no longer speak to because their lives were lost. I have friends who fought, a stepfather who fought, in the military who will never be the same again.

Those acts of terror had far-reaching and permanent effects upon this nation and yet, even in our most difficult times we are a nation who will continue to persevere. We are a Phoenix rising from the ashes of despair, pain, fear, and grief to be a nation forged by fire, made of steel and wearing the beauty of our scars with honor and dignity.

My thoughts today turn to those who lost their lives on that day and days following on a day of terror. I remember and honor the officers and firefighters who jumped into the fire to rescue all that they could, many who ended up losing their lives. I offer comfort to those whose lives were affected and changed by the events of that day. I stand with the soldiers who took an oath to protect and defend America at any cost. And I join hands with a nation too strong to buckle or fall to terrorists.

We will never forget.

Where were you on 9-11-01? And how will you remember those who were affected?

L'shanah tovah tikatevu ve techatemu