Saying I Love You

Jack and I were laying in the bed, sweaty, gasping for breath, sticky...(oh yeah, we had a very wild, extreme time, there's a dent in the wall from my shoulders.  LOL), my heart was racing  and I had the biggest shit-eating grin on my face because...damn....it was good!!  When Jack rolls over and looks at me.  He looks all serious and I sort of smile up at him because after that type of workout, you can't do anything but smile.  He touches my chin, kisses my lips and then....

Jack: So you know I love you right?

WHAT. THE. FUCK?!  I swear I just sort of blinked at him and then sat up really fast, my forehead connected with his, we both grabbed our heads, I have obscenities flowing out of my mouth and he's laughing.  Then we both just sort of stopped.  He grins at me.

Jack: You know I love you right?
Me: Why do you keep saying that?
Jack: Saying what?
Me: That you love me.
Jack: Because I do.
Me: You can't though.
Jack: Why not?
Me: Because we haven't even KNOWN each other that long!!
Jack: Wait, so you're putting a time restriction on my feelings for you too?  What the hell Vic!  You don't get to tell me what I can and cannot feel, for Christ's sake!

So I'm feeling pretty shitty and confused and inexplicably upset.  So I, of course, have a chick moment and start crying, yep with my strap on around my waist and everything.  LOL.  So Jack gets off the bed and comes over to where I'm standing and crying and puts his arms around me.

Me: Did you just say that because of what happened with my family?
Jack: (chuckles) No.  I wanted to say it before that even happened, but I didn't want you to freak out on me or anything.
Me: (hit him on the arm) Shut up fucker.
Jack: Hey now, sometimes I'm the fuckee.
Me: (laughing) Oh man that's just corny.
Jack: Well, I have to match my quota of corny jokes with yours.
Me: I do NOT make corny jokes!  I'm fucking hilarious!
Jack: No, you were fucking Jack, you weren't fucking hilarious.

So I burst out laughing because Jack was obviously in one of his silly moods and I love it when he gets like that.  He picks me back up and carries me back over to the bed because after a rigorous bout of hot JV sex (Jack & Vic sex) my hip and back are screaming in pain.  We lay back down on the bed and I'm still laughing a little bit.  When I stop he looks down at me and I just know he's going to say it again and I was right.

Jack: So you know I love you right?
Me: (nods) Yeah, and I love you too.
Jack: Good.
Me: Fabulous.
Jack: (looks away for a bit then looks back at me) Want to go again?
Me: Hell yeah!

Then we celebrated the fact that I'd stopped being a chicken shit and said it back.

I sort of freaked out today because dammit it's going to suck even worse now to say "goodbye" but thankfully Kate, my older online sister talked me off of the proverbial emotional ledge and said "You know that the goodbye is coming but don't spend the next few months worrying about it because then you won't be able to enjoy this time."

And she was right.  So I'm happy that I said "I love you" to this amazing man who sometimes I'm afraid to even sleep beside for fear that I'll wake up and find out that it's all just a dream, but I'm going to enjoy this time.

And keep on saying "I love you."

This is Why I Made So Many Gay Porno Friends on Twitter

Blind Lust Scene 4

Major UNF!-NSFW

IF YOU CLICK ON THE SECOND AND THIRD PICTURES YOU WILL GET A WONDERFUL TREAT!!!

boner-riffic:

Paul Powerhouse 66 y/o, 6’4”, 235 lbs of hard muscle #3

Jack got a little upset that I said "Oh. My. God. Major UNF!"
Or it could be the fact that I told him I wanted to masturbate to this picture....
Either way....

Now doesn't that improve your Monday??

Yummy Eye Candy-NSFW

Here are two very yummy pictures sent to me by some of my friends on Tumblr (yeah, I pop over there every so often). I thought I'd give you guys a chance to drool over this before I posted up the excerpts of "The Cowboy's Fireman."  ENJOY!!

I want to lick every single muscle. I LOVES me a muscled man!!  Mmmmmm.

I love that he is undressing his partner with his feet. That would totally be a Vic move.

This should have been the cover for Inconceivable. That's so Tommy and Ton.

And this is why I love sports *shiver* Anyone else drooling besides me?

That was me and Jack about......two hours ago.  LOL.

Jack Fights For Me

I might just be falling for Jack (gasp, shudder in fear).  This morning I made him breakfast before he went off to work and he was helping me fill out this paperwork that I got from my doctor that I have to fill out for the military  letting them know that I'll be having the gender reassignment surgery and why, blah, blah, blah.  So it got to gender and as I've been struggling with for the last couple of months I had no idea of how to answer it, so we left it blank.  Then under sexuality they have "straight, gay, bisexual, trangender m to f, transgender f to m."  Now, first of all I'm glad that this isn't military documentation because there would be no "sexuality" on there.  So I'm flipping waffles and I hear Jack growl and toss the pen down when we get to that question and I think "Oh shit, he's finally snapped, he finally realizes that he's not fully dating a man yet."

So I turn around kind of slow and I look at him and he's not glaring at me, he's glaring at the paper and then he looks up at me.

Jack: They're so stupid.
Me: Who?
Jack: These fucking doctors.  Don't they know that being transgender is not your sexuality?
Me: Huh?  Yes it is.
Jack: No!  Being transgender is your GENDER.  Your GENDER is wrong, you should have been born Victor, a male, not Veronica, a female.  That's your gender.  Your sexuality is gay.
Me: Oh...yeah.  I guess you're right.
Jack: It's like that's another way to not really identify that transgenders are having a GENDER identity issue, not a SEXUALITY identity issue.  You just told me yesterday that you were a bigender homosexual or transgender homosexual whatever you said.
Me: I said I was a gay bigender (sniffle)
Jack: Exactly.  This is bullshit.
Me: Thank you. (sniffle)
Jack: For what?
Me: For getting so upset on my behalf.
Jack: I'm going to do more than that.  I'm writing these people to tell them that they need to change this fucking shit.

At which point I turned off the waffle maker and sort of hopped into his arms.  We made an even bigger mess in the kitchen on our way back to the bedroom (*naughty grin*), but I couldn't really put into words (I know, me the author) how much it touched me to have someone fight for me.  I can't remember the last time that someone did.  I fight for others, I was a soldier in the US Army, it's something that has been a part of me since birth.  I'm a defender, a protector of others, a warrior.  Oftentimes no one pays attention to the fact that the warrior needs someone willing to fight for them as well.  It's not that we don't need protection it's just that no one really think we do.  So to have Jack realize and point out something that I hadn't even realized and then to have him fight for me or stand up for me in that way?  It made something inside of me clench and release.  I told him he was my hero, he just laughed and said it was what I did for others on a daily basis.

BTW, Jack was late to work today.  LOL.  What can I say, I cannot keep my hands off that man, even after the spanking I had to give him last night.