Breakfast With Brandon...The Ass

You all may remember me talking about my ex Brandon, whom I affectionately call "The Ass."

Some of you may think I call him that because he's an asshole, and you'd only be partly right.  Brandon is the ONLY boyfriend that I've ever had who always had to drink or get high before he'd want to get all affectionate with me.  Gave me quite a complex.

That's because Brandon is a bottom, but he didn't know that until he met me.

One night we were talking and I had done something extremely sweet for him and he said I could have whatever I wanted so I, with all of my "Smooth Vic Swagger", looked at him and said "I want that ass."

LOL.  I know, classy.

Anyway, he drank, we used lots and lots of lube because he was so scared and then when we got him naked I discovered why I would be calling him "the ass" for the rest of my natural born life.

Brandon has got a ghetto booty.  To see a ghetto booty on a natural born black woman is common place, to see it on a natural born black man is a little more common, but not so much.  To see a Latino woman with a ghetto booty is rare but not AS uncommon as seeing a white woman with a ghetto booty.  But...a white MAN with a ghetto booty?  For a gay man it's like the search for the Holy freakin' Grail.  LOL.

And as we know "Vic" is a gay man, a very toppy Dominant gay man.

When I saw Brandon's ass I wanted to weep...okay, not really, but my mouth did water and I did push him on the bed on all fours and I rimmed his ass like it was a fucking all you can eat buffet.

Oh. My. Gosh!  He even cleaned his ass like a gay man.  LOL.

Anyway, I fucked him, we both enjoyed it, we both got off and for the next few months that we were together, he was the "Dom" outside of the bedroom, while I played the part of "wifey" or "househusband" but in the bedroom, I was the fucking MAN!  LOL.  *Shivers of delighted rememberance*

Our relationship didn't really end all that well, even though I introduced him to his current partner.  Oh we didn't argue or anything, but he knew it was over and didn't tell me and when I found out...let's just say you don't want to fuck with a Scorpio.  I didn't out him or do anything horrible to him, but for a few weeks he got pictures sent to him of the two of us together.  Him handcuffed to the bed, me with my strap on about to fuck him.  *Shrugs*  Not one of my better moments but hey, I have a temper.

Anyway, while it's not unusual for me to hear from him, when he called me yesterday to tell me that he and his partner were going to be in town and they wanted to meet with me I said yes.  Had I known what the meeting was about, I would have brought a tall bottle of vodka or scotch or something.

Brandon and his partner have decided that they want to have children.  At first I thought they were asking for my eggs and I thought "Wow I'd be able to stay with Jack, I'd just fly up and visit.  Perfect solution!"  But, I got ahead of myself and got horribly disappointed.

They are going to use Brandon's partner, Brian's (yeah I call them B & B...and I always crack up when I do), sister's eggs, but they want me to move to Iowa for a while and carry the eggs for them.  So they want me to actually be the surrogate.  When I asked why Brian's sister couldn't do it, I was told that she didn't mind giving up an egg (or two) but she didn't want to ruin her figure by carrying someone else's child.  Apparently, I have no such qualms.

So.  Yeah.  They asked me and I told them that with everything going on that I'd have to think about it....like seriously think about it.  At this point me being pregnant would be BEYOND weird, and I sent Jack a quick text message and even he was like:

Jack: Goddammit baby, Idk. On 1 hand no b/c ur egg not good enuff? On 2 hand u can help and b preg. On 3 hand too weird.


Thank you Jackson, so eloquent, but exactly what I was thinking.  Because you know I asked them why not my eggs (especially since I'm so goddamn fertile) and they looked at each other all nervous like and said "We don't really want a black baby...or at least not a really dark brown one."

I chose to not have that be a racist statement and purely a matter of preference.

So I have this decision to make about if I'll carry for them or not.  On the one hand I'd be able to move.  Have a place to stay (with them-all expenses paid).  And that's good.  On the other hand, this whole thing, what they said about the "black baby" and everything just sort of makes me feel...icky.

*Sigh* I'm not going to worry about this right now.  I'll think about it more AFTER I get back from NOLA.

Life-Changing Book: Nowhere Ranch by Heidi Cullinan

Nowhere Ranch by Heidi Cullinan
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

When I read L.A. Witt's "Static" I had a panic attack because it made me come face-to-face with some truths about myself that I'd been hiding.  When I read this book I cried because Heidi described the heartbreak I experienced at my own coming out, the grief, the despair, the hopelessness that ate away at me with my family's reaction, the need to erect walls to keep oneself safe from any more emotional hurt, the fight and struggle for healing and the overwhelming power of hope, forgiveness and acceptance, not of others but the acceptance of yourself.

When I first started reading this book, I didn't know what to expect.  It had been recommended to me by Pati Maye, someone who after hearing about my family's reaction to my coming out told me that she'd adopt me.  So I read this expecting to read a story of how a family accepted someone's decision to live their truth.  I didn't even read the blurb, I just started reading.  When I read Roe's family's reaction to finding out he was gay I felt as if Heidi had hidden cameras in my home (which wouldn't make sense as this book was written and published before I came out).  I could feel the lost feeling that ate away at Roe's insides and when Roe began working at Nowhere Ranch and he met up with Travis Loving, the ranch owner, in a gay bar, I don't think I've ever rooted so hard for a couple before.

Heidi's words and the flow of her sentences made this book gritty and raw with emotion, I ached with the need for Roe to realize he wasn't evil for loving someone, I desperately needed for Travis to catch Roe if he ever ran if he ever fell, because Heidi's way with words had me feeling as if Roe's struggle was my own.

The sex was hot, rough, passionate, sweaty, and I cringed and clenched through most of it, feeling as if Travis was standing over me giving me orders or telling me what he was about to do to me.  It was wonderful how Travis always knew what Roe needed, even when Roe didn't, and he always gave it to him, whether he was being rough or gentle, paddling him or yes, fisting him (gasp!).  It was all so hardcore, so raunchy and so gripping that I purposefully read the scenes to my boyfriend just to see his reactions.

Haley's determination for Roe to have happiness, the way she fought for him, fought for his well-being, fought for his acceptance, fought for his right to love who he wanted, to have the family and the life he wanted, made me smile and root for her, making her one of the FIRST female friends in a M/M romance book that I actually WANTED to read about.  At one point, I even clapped for her after she gave a long speech.

The best thing about this book was the ending.  It was the greatest, sweetest ending ever.  I nodded, wiped away the tears that had escaped from my eyes pages before and felt "The Epilogue Whore" within me give a great big sigh of relief that Heidi had satisfied us both, the reader who longs for the story and the E.W. who longs for the "After" in Happily Ever After.

Rarely do I read a story that affects me so much that when it's over I've realized that I had such a visceral reaction to it, but when I read one that does, I know that it's one that I will read over and over and over again.  I would recommend this book to everyone.  To those who were able to come out with no adverse reaction from their family, so that they can appreciate that experience and express their love and gratefulness for that.  To those who came out and whose parents had a negative reaction, disowned them, kicked them out, beat them up, etc. so that they can see that our desire to love, our ability to love someone even when others say that it's wrong is not wrong, is not evil, is not a sin, that being who we are, living our own individual truths is the greatest example of purity, of righteousness, of holiness that there could ever be.  To those who have had someone that they know, someone that they love come out and they reacted positively or negatively so that they can see that love, no matter its form, its gender, its race or religion, is just love.

And to those who still dare to dream, dare to hope, dare to love, this is the perfect book for you.


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