The Nieceling and the Flat Puppies

So since moving to Buffalo, NY with my adopted big sister the "flat puppies" or what's known as "plot bunnies" to other authors, have been flying around the apartment smacking both my adopted sister (who's a published author) and myself in the head.

Most of them are being thrown around by my nieceling and I've been catching them and writing up a storm.

I've started on a series entitled:  The Last Men on Earth that's in addition to The Virgin Special Forces series that I'm dedicating to Matt and Brad of the blog 2 Boys In Love.  There's the stand alone books: Light the Way, An Agean Task, and Not a Second.


You'd think that's be enough, but beyond those, there's the other 13 stand alone books, then the other six series that I'm writing (Can you say: That's a LOT Vic!).

Ahhh but you see...my brain has said that that's not enough because The Nieceling inspired 2 single title YA books: My Best Friend Shay, Friends Like Mine (which turns into a series but the last two books are 18+), and then there is the Sacred Duets series for YA.

Yep, I think I'm pretty much set as far as writing goes for the next few years.

But can I say how wonderfully exciting that is?  Because I can write here and the inspiration is just all over the place, the apartment is littered with "flat puppies," but it's all good because the more inspiration, the more books I write, the more books you all get to read.


Vic

The Virgin Special Forces

*I decided to share this on both of my blogs because I'm sort of excited about it now.

I am shaking my fist at Matt and Brad mentally as I write this.*

So, everyone knows that I used to be in the Army.  (What do you mean you didn't know?  It's a well known fact!)

And at some point I was a virgin (Although it was so long ago that I'm beginning to doubt it ever truly existed).

So when my "little brothers" Matt and Brad (of the 2 Boys in Love blog) put up a post about "losing" their virginity I was equal parts intrigued and slightly "cringey" (yes cringey is a word...I'm making it one), because you know, they're like my little brothers.  LOL.

Anyway, so when I went to read their post today and then saw the words: Virgin Special Forces, my mind, through no further enticement, jumped on the title AND the idea and I saw a group of guys, ten maybe, who are all in the military together, five of which are gay virgins, who are deployed to Iraq and how those five guys lose their virginity.

Sounds interesting huh?

I think so too (Damn you Matt and Brad for giving me MORE inspiration to write).

So rather than spending my day watching horror movies all day (*sigh* Halloween).  I will be drafting up the books for The VSF Series, which I of course will have to dedicate to JayHJay and Matt and Brad.

And so you can see how quickly my brain works with these things, here's the first part of book one's chapter one.  Called, The Alpha Team:


"I'm losing my virginity to him before this week is over or I'm going to throw myself in front of the next suicide bomber and just be done with the whole thing," Luke pouted before throwing himself onto his cot in frustration.  He heard the other members of his platoon laugh and huffed in frustration before rolling over to stare up at the ceiling.


"Still pining away for the Sergeant, huh O'Malley?" Luke's best friend Traven Anderson snickered from the cot next to his.  Turning his head to look at Traven, Luke gave into his childish urge and stuck out his tongue.


"Hey O'Malley.  Try not to go waving that thing around unless you plan on using it," Francis Trout, their platoon leader grinned from the floor where he lay doing one-handed push ups.


Show off, Luke thought to himself, before turning his attention back to Traven.  "You don't understand," he whined, feeling his cock thicken at the thought of their Commanding Officer, First Sergeant Connor Wilkins.  The man was a walking wet dream.  Standing at six foot six, his black hair cut in a buzz cut, his blue eyes dark as twilight, his body broad and hugely muscled and his voice...


Luke shivered with uncontrollable desire.  "He is the sexiest man alive and he has no idea that he is.  I just want to lick him from head to toe and then bend over and ask him to ride me hard and fast," Luke confided in his best friend moments before he heard the loud bellow of the man in question, calling for bunk inspection and he leaped to his feet and brought his body to attention, immediately.


His eyes drank in the sight of First Sergeant Wilkins as the man strode down the line looking over everyone's bunks as he passed.  This was their last bunk inspection before they were deployed to Iraq on Sunday and he didn't want to fail this one like he'd failed all of the others.  He glanced surreptitiously at First Sergeant Wilkins from the corner of his eyes as the man stepped closer to him, his gaze taking in his ever movement.  He watched as the larger man stopped in front of him, standing close to him as he looked at his bunk before glancing down at him sternly.


"It's about damn time O'Malley.  You finally learned how to pass a bunk inspection," he stated, his voice low and next to Luke's ear.


"I wanted to make sure I showed you that I know how to handle a bunk, sir," Luke replied breathlessly, holding his First Sergeant's gaze steadily, even though his heart pounded in his chest.  He watched as First Sergeant Wilkins's eyes darkened with desire before clearing as if someone had placed a wall in front of them.  He held onto his barely controlled desire with two clenched fists as he watched his CO finish the inspections before declaring that everyone passed and striding out without another word...and without glancing in his direction again.


As soon as the door closed behind him, Luke sank to his bed, his body trembling.


"Oh my god," he breathed.


"Damn O'Malley.  I thought you and First Sergeant Wilkins were about to start fucking like animals right in front of us," Phillip Roan, another member of the unofficially named "Virgin Special Forces," stated with a grin.


Luke smiled back at Phillip, who hi-fived his twin brother Peter, and collapsed backwards onto his bed again.  "By the end of this week, I swear I'm losing my virginity to him," he declared.


~~**~~                             ~~**~~


Leaning against the wall outside of the barracks, Connor Wilkins grinned wolfishly.  So Luke O'Malley wanted to lose his virginity huh?  Well, Connor would give him what he wanted, and maybe a little more than he bargained for as well.




So there you go.  The Virgin Special Forces has been started in my mind and I can already tell that I'm going to enjoy writing Connor and Luke's story.

Happy Reading and Happy Halloween!!

{HUGZ, SQUEEZES, FIST BUMPS AND SALUTES!}

Vic

Life-Changing Book: Nowhere Ranch by Heidi Cullinan

Nowhere Ranch by Heidi Cullinan
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

When I read L.A. Witt's "Static" I had a panic attack because it made me come face-to-face with some truths about myself that I'd been hiding.  When I read this book I cried because Heidi described the heartbreak I experienced at my own coming out, the grief, the despair, the hopelessness that ate away at me with my family's reaction, the need to erect walls to keep oneself safe from any more emotional hurt, the fight and struggle for healing and the overwhelming power of hope, forgiveness and acceptance, not of others but the acceptance of yourself.

When I first started reading this book, I didn't know what to expect.  It had been recommended to me by Pati Maye, someone who after hearing about my family's reaction to my coming out told me that she'd adopt me.  So I read this expecting to read a story of how a family accepted someone's decision to live their truth.  I didn't even read the blurb, I just started reading.  When I read Roe's family's reaction to finding out he was gay I felt as if Heidi had hidden cameras in my home (which wouldn't make sense as this book was written and published before I came out).  I could feel the lost feeling that ate away at Roe's insides and when Roe began working at Nowhere Ranch and he met up with Travis Loving, the ranch owner, in a gay bar, I don't think I've ever rooted so hard for a couple before.

Heidi's words and the flow of her sentences made this book gritty and raw with emotion, I ached with the need for Roe to realize he wasn't evil for loving someone, I desperately needed for Travis to catch Roe if he ever ran if he ever fell, because Heidi's way with words had me feeling as if Roe's struggle was my own.

The sex was hot, rough, passionate, sweaty, and I cringed and clenched through most of it, feeling as if Travis was standing over me giving me orders or telling me what he was about to do to me.  It was wonderful how Travis always knew what Roe needed, even when Roe didn't, and he always gave it to him, whether he was being rough or gentle, paddling him or yes, fisting him (gasp!).  It was all so hardcore, so raunchy and so gripping that I purposefully read the scenes to my boyfriend just to see his reactions.

Haley's determination for Roe to have happiness, the way she fought for him, fought for his well-being, fought for his acceptance, fought for his right to love who he wanted, to have the family and the life he wanted, made me smile and root for her, making her one of the FIRST female friends in a M/M romance book that I actually WANTED to read about.  At one point, I even clapped for her after she gave a long speech.

The best thing about this book was the ending.  It was the greatest, sweetest ending ever.  I nodded, wiped away the tears that had escaped from my eyes pages before and felt "The Epilogue Whore" within me give a great big sigh of relief that Heidi had satisfied us both, the reader who longs for the story and the E.W. who longs for the "After" in Happily Ever After.

Rarely do I read a story that affects me so much that when it's over I've realized that I had such a visceral reaction to it, but when I read one that does, I know that it's one that I will read over and over and over again.  I would recommend this book to everyone.  To those who were able to come out with no adverse reaction from their family, so that they can appreciate that experience and express their love and gratefulness for that.  To those who came out and whose parents had a negative reaction, disowned them, kicked them out, beat them up, etc. so that they can see that our desire to love, our ability to love someone even when others say that it's wrong is not wrong, is not evil, is not a sin, that being who we are, living our own individual truths is the greatest example of purity, of righteousness, of holiness that there could ever be.  To those who have had someone that they know, someone that they love come out and they reacted positively or negatively so that they can see that love, no matter its form, its gender, its race or religion, is just love.

And to those who still dare to dream, dare to hope, dare to love, this is the perfect book for you.


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I'M AN EFFING PUBLISHED AUTHOR!

Hey ALL!!! *Happy Dance*

So Unthinkable has been published!  Woop!!!  And some of you are even mentioned on the thank-you page!  I'm so stinkin' excited!!!  I was on the phone with Jack and he kept saying "Stop tweaking and just push accept. It's good.  It's really good.  I read what you sent me and I don't know why you weren't published before now, but do it.  Then you'll be a published author!"  I was still EXTREMELY hesitant, but then he offered me a little extra incentive {naughty grin} and. I. DID. IT!!!!

So here's the button to buy it:



I'm also putting it as a permanent part of my blog so when the rest of "The Tate Pack Series" goes up for sale you all and whoever else can just click on that and buy it.

I'm SO EXCITED!!!!

Unthinkable: Part Ten

Part Ten:


     He loved him.  His mate loved him.  No matter how many times Vet reminded himself of the fact that Richard loved him, each time he thought it, the idea became more unbelievable than the time before it.  His mate, his man, his Richard, loved him.  Vet shook his head, well aware that the big goofy grin stayed on his face.
     "Oh, get that smug look off your face," he heard Richard mutter as the smaller man walked past him, balancing one of the triplets on his hip.  Had it really been three months since he'd heard those words?  Richard had only said them once, but Vet knew that he still meant them.  It was in his every touch, his every word.  The way he kissed him, the way he took care of him, the way they made love.  Yeah, Richard still loved him, he just had to make the smaller man say it again.
     "What?  You got a problem with me smiling?" he teased the other man as they worked together to bring the triplets, the groceries, the shopping bags, the feed, the mail, the packages, the deliveries, and the rest of Richard's furniture in from outside.
     "I got a problem with it when you're smug for no reason," Richard huffed as he dragged in a large bag of potatoes from outside.
     "Well, why don't you ask me what I'm smug about then," Vet grinned as Richard flopped down onto the couch in the living room, smiling over at the triplets who smiled and giggled back at him.
     "I don't care to know," Richard pouted, knowing damn well what had Vet grinning like a Cheshire cat.  He did feel somewhat guilty, he hadn't immediately told Richard that he loved him when the smaller man had first said it, but he had told him since and each time all Richard had done was smile, kiss him and say "I know."  Which he guessed was something, but it just wasn't enough.  He wanted to hear his mate tell him that he loved him again.  He wanted to hear it everyday, for the rest of their lives together.
     "So, have you heard from Tommy?" he asked, deciding to change the subject as he came to sit next to Richard on the couch.  He heard the other man sigh in sadness.
     "Not since he tore out of here when Anton shifted in front of him.  I don't even know if he's okay.  He won't answer any of my phone calls, text messages or emails.  I feel like such an idiot, I really thought he'd be okay with the whole shape shifter thing.  I didn't think he'd spaz out, and the fact that he and Anton are mates?  Well, that just makes me feel worse," Richard confessed.  Vet felt his heart clench at the sound of his mate's sadness and guilt and pulled the other man snug against his chest.
     "No one blames you.  Ton doesn't even blame you.  He's hurting because his mate left him, yes, but that's directed towards Tommy, not you.  He's grateful that you gave him the opportunity to even meet his mate in the first place.  Don't beat yourself up over this, baby, please.  It will work out.  It always does, fate doesn't make mistakes when it comes to putting people together.  Trust me," he stated firmly before he kissed the other man's temple.  With a sigh Richard nodded and then turned on the tv before snuggling into Vet's chest, his arms wrapped around his big cowboy as they lay on the couch watching some sappy movie.
     "Gods above, where did all the good visual entertainment go," Richard moaned and Vet snorted.  "What?" he questioned.
     "Visual entertainment?  Why don't you just say movies man?" Vet chuckled.  "Ain't nobody here to try to impress wit' your ten-dollar words and your New York education.  It's all simple folk here.  Just say movies," Vet laughed as Richard's face flushed with embarrassment.
     "That's just how I talk Vet," Richard responded, embarrassed.  Vet's eyebrows rose and he realized that even after being mated for months, making love, raising children, running a ranch and a farm on top of being the alpha couple for the Tate Pack, there was still so much about his mate that he didn't know.
     "I'm sorry baby.  I wasn't tryin to pick on you none, just don't want you to feel like you gotta put on airs or nothing out here," Vet reassured his mate.
     Richard nodded and smiled, "Yeah, I know.  And even though it doesn't seem like it, I'm more relaxed here, and have been since I got here, than I have been at any other point in my life.  This is me relaxed and comfortable."
     Vet nodded and opened his mouth when he caught a whiff of smoke.  He lifted his nose to sniff the air and smelled more than just smoke, he smelled fire and he smelled wolves, lots of wolves about ten different wolves, and these wolves that had no permission to be on his property.
     "Richard, baby, I want you to listen to me.  I'm gonna get you and the triplets locked up safe and tight in the pantry.  There's a door in there, unlocks by knocking on the wall behind the cereal boxes, it leads you into a bunker downstairs that leads into a hallway that leads you to another piece of property at the edge of the forest.  I want you to wait in the pantry for two hours.  If after two hours, I haven't come to get you, I want you to take the triplets to the bunker in the basement.  Wait there for a few more hours.  If sunrise comes and I'm not there, I want you and the triplets to go to that other house, call my fried Ross, he'll get you all to safety," he commanded his mate, "Do you understand me?"
     Richard shook his head, "No.  What the hell is going on Vet?  Why are you telling me this?  What's happening?"
     Vet opened his mouth to respond and smelled fifteen more wolves that had joined the ten from before and with them he smelled one familiar wolf and they were getting closer...Bobby Ray.  He looked over at his mate, memorizing his features, caressing his face before he stood and quickly grabbed a large duffel bag.  Grabbing clothes, diapers, formula, bottles, wipes, shoes, and food, he threw them all into the duffel.  He grabbed the baby Bjorn and lifting Amy into his arms placed her inside before strapping her to Richard's chest.  He rushed over and opened the special order stroller they'd gotten, the one with three seats, made especially for the triplets.  Pulling back the visor on the back last seat, he put the duffel bag inside of it.  He turned and saw that Richard had already picked up RJ and was placing him into the stroller, so he grabbed Curt and placed him in the front.  Giving each baby their pacifiers, he hurried his mate and their children to the pantry.
     "Okay, so here's what's going on.  Bobby Ray is back, probably to get revenge and he's got upwards of twenty five other wolf shifters with him.  They've already set fire to one of my buildings, probably to smoke us all out of the house so that we can attack.  The other men'll be waiting on me outside the back of the house, but I gotta make sure you and the kids are safe before I go out there and deal with this.  I gotta save the horses and the other animals.  Gotta save the members of the pack that work and live her, most of all I gotta make sure my family, you and our babies are safe.  So I gotta go out here and kick some ass, but I can't do that if I'm worried about you.  Now you remember what I said for you to do?" he questioned his mate, his words coming rapid-fire, slurring slightly as his body became poised, ready to shift at any moment.
     Richard swallowed thickly and nodded before lifting up on his toes and kissing him deeply.  "You just make sure you stay safe you hear me Vernon Tate?  I love you and I am not raising these kids on my own," the smaller man sniffled.
     Vet's heart leaped in his chest.  He'd said it again!  Granted he'd said it in a moment of extreme emotional distress, but he'd said it nonetheless.  With a cocky grin he nodded.  "I love you too and that right there gives me a reason to make sure I survive.  Now go on, git."  He pushed his mate into the pantry and heard as the smaller man settled down the triplets.  Pulling his key out of his pocket, he locked the door and then ripped the clothes from his body and rushed towards his sliding door, opening the door and then shifting.  He'd let Bobby Ray get away once and he'd returned, seeking revenge.  The stupid man didn't realize that he'd only returned to let Vet finish what he'd started.  This time, one of them wouldn't be walking away alive. and Vet had everything to live for.

Book Review of Mary Calmes's "After the Sunset"

In the book "Timing" I fell in love with the passionate dynamic of Stefan Joss and Rand Holloway.  In this book, "After the Sunset," that passionate dynamic, their love for each other, and the lengths that they both will go to to see the other happy, settled, and thriving settled deep into my soul, buried itself and set up shop.

When this book first began I was a little nervous that Stef would still be trying to give himself a way out, an escape plan, just in case things went south with Rand, but the time frame that Mrs. Calmes has set this book in has Stef fully settled and ready to FINALLY make his forever with his gorgeous dark haired blue eyed cowboy.

There were so many elements of this book that I liked, the action that took place at the Rodeo, the secrets that were revealed, the steps that Rand had already taken to ensure that Stef would always be taken cared of, the unexpected allies that Stef and Rand find that they have, the laughter, and of course the passionate, sexual exchanges between Rand and Stef with a heavy dose of love twisted in between.

As for my beloved nickname of "The Epilogue Whore" well...I must confess no matter how Mrs. Calmes ends her books, I am never satisfied...EVER.  The stories are just THAT good, the characters are just that sexy and loveable and endearing and most of all, Mrs. Calmes weaves a story so amazing that it stays with you longer after it's over.

So no, I'm not satisfied with the ending, and yes I will be looking and searching and asking Mrs. Calmes for more of Stef and Rand because I want to see them with babies and kids and I want to look a few years into their future and see how their HEA is working out.  Even then I probably still won't be satisfied.

I recommend this book to....well, everyone.  Lovers of cowboys, lovers of men, lovers of sexy men, lovers of family, lovers of hot sex between hot men, lovers of action and secret and fights, and most of all lovers of love.

Book Review of Amy Lane's "Living Promises"

Okay, I'm going to see if I can get through this book review without sobbing my eyes out, but seeing as how I'm already crying, I have no hopes for that.

By the end of the Prologue I was already identifying with the MC of Collin, having lost two cousins in a car accident on the same night I lost my favorite cousin (the first person I told when I started having sex who went and got me tested and told me about condoms, HIV and STDs) to cancer.  Soon after that I became fearless and reckless until I met Christopher a year later.  He gave me something to live for and helped me to heal.

This is when I begin to identify with the MC of Jeff (who I fell in love with in Book One) who lost someone he loved in the military, very unexpectedly.  That sense of grief and feeling as if you don't want to live if that person isn't alive to be with you.  I cried when I read that Jeff's lover, Kevin, died while serving overseas and he found out that he had contracted HIV (readers will remember that we found out he had this from the first two books).  Having served in the Army and having lost friends overseas, my best friend to AIDS and my fiance to brain cancer, I felt as if Mrs. Lane had gripped my heart and was crushing the life out of it.  I actually had to walk away from the book for a while to compose myself, the description of the haze Jeff went through was so wonderfully written.

However, the story is not all sadness and grief and "Oh-My-God-Somebody-Just-Put-Me-Out-Of-My-Misery" heartache.  Mrs. Lane mixes in a wonderful blend of laughter, surprise, love, realistic life situations, disappointments and heart-stopping, breath-stealing sex as to make this book my favorite one of this year (and that says a lot because I LOVED "Viking Lore" by Stormy Glenn).  By the time I got to the end of this book I'd gone through an entire box of Kleenex, two bottles of water and felt so emotionally drained that all I could do was lay on my bed trying to get my head together.

Collin and Jeff are so beautiful together, both helping each other to heal, to become better, to believe and hope again, loving so deeply and strongly as to be almost supernatural.  This is one of the greatest stories of love lost, love found and life rediscovered.

Thank you [author:Amy Lane|151973] for writing such an amazing story and for your dedication at the beginning of the book.

Book Reviews of Mary Calmes's Werepanther Series: Change of Heart & Trusted Bond

Change of Heart by Mary Calmes
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Okay, this was one of the first ever gay romance audiobook that I heard and I must tell you, Mrs Calmes had me hooked halfway through this book.  I identified with Jin and Logan reminded me of my fiance Christopher.  The fact that Jin fought so hard against mating with Logan Church, even though he was so drawn to him, especially because of a past hurt, it made me so aware of how fear can keep us from the best things in our lives if we let it.  We have to overcome that fear and hold on to love with both hands and our legs wrapped around its proverbial waist.


Even Mrs. Calmes secondary characters were interesting and while I was hooked on the story of Jin and Logan, I found myself curious about Korah and Domin, and all of the others.  Mrs. Calmes has a gift for drawing her readers into the story, chaining you to the characters and then whipping you with a story line so fraught with passion, love, intrigue, suspense, and the paranormal, that when the story is over you've collapsed from a very satisfying release.


Five stars across the board and how happy was I when I found out there was a book two in the works and then when I read it: OH MY!!


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Trusted Bond by Mary Calmes

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I bought this book as SOON as I could and read it in one sitting.  It was ADDICTIVE!! Mary Calmes had action going from beginning to end and to see how strong the love and the bond is between Jin and Logan.  And then to find out about the power that Jin possesses?  WOW!!  I fell in love with this book just like I fell in love with "Change of Heart."  This book was UH-MAY-ZING from beginning to end.  It might be too much to ask of Mrs. Calmes to write another book about Jin and Logan but I'm so addicted to them, especially after this book, but damn it's what I want!!  It's a must read and another must read and another must read.


Thank you Mrs Calmes, for creating characters that are so easy to love. I think it's a rare treat when you find a book that's not only entertaining but that reflects a part of you and helps you to grow or teaches you about the power of the love between two people. I see myself in Jin, crazy as it may seem, someone who others see as special but who struggles to see their own worth and struggles with truly trusting in the love of someone else. I see my fiance, Christopher (who passed away 5 years ago) in Logan. So, for me, reading their story is even more precious to me.

Even Jin's need to keep poking and prodding trying to find some major flaw as an excuse to end the relationship and protect himself, even though he was hopelessly in love with Logan, made the book more intesting. I read the book and kept smiling because I could just see us being reflected (Everytime I muttered to Jin, "He loves you, you idiot! Let him show it his way!" I felt a little sheepish because it's something that my best friend said to me).

This is definitely a MUST-read.  There were so many surprises, twists, turns and unexpected action that I read this book almost EVERYDAY for three months and never tired of it.  The only thing that made this book MORE special, was the fact that Mrs. Calmes sent me an autographed copy.  I anxiously await book three in this series.  I have missed Jin and Logan and can't wait to see what they're going to be up to next. (*Turns to pick up "Trusted Bond" to read again*)

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Unthinkable: Part Four

Part Four:

     Vet watched Richard walk towards the triplets with a small smile on his face.  He had been hoping for a reaction of caring from the smaller man, but the expression of wonder and instant caring was more than he could have ever hoped for.  Looking over at his aunt, a tall robust woman with black hair that fell to her waist, ample bosom and dancing green eyes, the two of them shared a look.  He knew that she would be cornering him to ask about Richard sooner or later, and he would be ready for her, but not at that moment.  He stepped forward to stand beside Richard where he stood before the triplets.

     "Let me introduce you.  This is Amy, Curt, and..." he looked over at Richard, who stood staring at the triplets, his eyes fastened on the baby boy who was still awake, wanting to see his reaction when he said his name, "Richard Jr.  We call him RJ though."  He saw Richard's eyes widen and his mouth drop open in shock before he turned to slowly look at him.

     "AL named one of her babies after me?" the smaller man whispered, his eyes filling with tears that he quickly blinked away.  Vet merely smiled and nodded his head.

     "Why?" Richard asked looking back at the babies again.

     Vet shrugged before responding, "I reckon it's because you were a friend of hers, or because, as she said, you were the reason she was at that store where she met Cameron and she wouldn't have 'em if it weren't for you."  Mandy had never explained what she meant by that and Vet had never asked, but he was curious about it and wanted to know.  He saw Richard smile softly at the memory and quirked an eyebrow.

     "AL and I had gone to this party, gotten really drunk and stumbled back to our apartment in Brooklyn.  I got really sick and we didn't have any ginger ale in the house.  I begged and cried for her to go get me some, I'd never been that sick from drinking before.  Well, she went and she met Cameron at the store, he came back with her and after they gave me the ginger ale and some aspirin, they went back to her room and they fu-" Richard stopped talking abruptly, his face flaming red as he sheepishly grinned at Vet.  Vet chuckled, he could understand what happened even if Richard hadn't continued.  Cameron was a wolf shifter, just like Mandy, so they both understood about mating and the mating heat.  Even though Vet felt it, like an itch that could never be scratched, a throbbing erection that would never be satisfied, Richard was a human who didn't know about wolf shifters or mates and Vet knew he had to tread lightly.  It sucked...well, nothing was sucking at that point..but it was really bad.  Giving himself a mental shake Vet turned towards his aunt and her mate.

     "Richard this is my aunt Tricia and her mate, her husband David," Vet introduced them, nodding at David, a large bear of a man, his size was practically overwhelming, but that was probably because David was a bear shifter, his shaggy brown hair coupled with his hairy face and body gave him the look of a bear posing as a human, but Vet knew he was a teddy bear.  "Auntie, David, this here is Richard.  Mandy's best friend, the babies' new guardian and my-" he merely lifted his eyebrows, hoping that they would catch on to what he wasn't saying.  When they both nodded he knew they understood and when Richard turned to look at him with surprise and confusion in his eyes, he finished his statement, "My co-parent and hopefully new friend as well."  Richard smiled sweetly at him before shaking hands with Tricia and David.

     "It's very nice to meet you," Richard stated before turning back to the babies.  "Vet, I think if we're going to go, we should go now," he said almost apologetically.

    "Yeah, we kinda figured, so we already got all your stuff packed up and ready to go.  We'll do the check-out for you.  You kids go ahead and get going to the airport," Tricia said with another sweet smile at Richard. Vet was surprised, he was certain she was going to corner him to interrogate him about his new mate, but she was just letting them go?  Not just letting, encouraging them to go?  Damn near pushing them out of the room. What was with her?  Nodding his head at his aunt, making a mental note to call her later, Vet reached out to grab the carriers for two of the babies.  He smiled as Richard picked up the last carrier that held his namesake before walking over to pick up some of the bags on the floor.  He stood nibbling on his bottom lip, seeming to be in deep concentration.

     "What'cha thinkin' 'bout over there?" Vet asked, his Southern drawl becoming more pronounced as he felt himself growing aroused.  This was not the best time for it, he was holding two babies for heaven's sake!

     "How the hell are we supposed to get all of this shit downstairs?" Richard asked in exasperation.  He sounded so adorable and flustered that Vet and his aunt and uncle all laughed.  Vet gestured for Richard to go ahead of him.

     "We make a couple of trips, but don't worry, when we get to the airport, we'll add your 'shit' and then it'll really be interesting," he ignored Richard's glare as he chuckled and led the smaller man over to the elevators. He couldn't help feeling as if he were forgetting something and he continuously looked behind him, but seeing nothing, he shrugged and entered the elevator behind his mate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     Richard sighed as he sat down in the waiting area of Terminal 41 in the LaGuardia Airport in Newark, NJ.  He was exhausted!  It took them an hour and a half to get through security because of all of the baby carriers, then Curt woke up screaming, which woke up Amy and set off her own brand of screaming.  It had taken him and Vet thirty minutes to calm them down and while the babies were still awake, they were now happily sucking on their pacifiers and kicking their legs in happiness.

     "Our daughter is the same way.  She screams for a few minutes and then settles down happily as if nothing were ever wrong," Richard looked up at the voice speaking to him and realized that it was the short blonde from the elevator at the hotel earlier.

     "Hi, nice to see you again," he smiled at the other man as he sat down across from him, holding out a picture towards him.  Richard took the offered picture and smiled at the image.  It was of the two men and two children, one a young boy of two or three with brown hair, hazel eyes and a shy smile, the young blonde man was holding a baby in his arms, the little girl grinning straight at the camera as if ready to take on the world.

     "They are beautiful," he smiled.  He watched as the other man's eyes softened as he took back the picture.

     "Yes they are," he said with a happy smile, before looking back at him and offering his hand, "My name's Thorny, my husband's name is Jazz," he gestured at the larger man who was walking back with a large Vet, holding an awake Curt in his arms, and two bottles of Coke in his free hand.

     "Nice to officially meet you.  My name is Richard and this is Vernon, but everyone calls him Vet," Richard gestured to Vet who sat next to him, moving Curt's empty carrier to the floor, Amy, held in Richard's arms and RJ content to lay in his carrier next to Richard, playing with the lights on the ceiling.

     "Do they call you Vet because you're a veterinarian?" Thorny asked with a shy smile, full of love at his husband Jazz when the other man handed him a bottle of juice.

     "Naw, name's Vernon Tate, my baby sister, Mandy, couldn't say Vernon.  One day I got in trouble and my mama said my whole name.  Well Mandy tried to imitate her and said Vet instead.  Name just kinda stuck I guess," Vet offered with a grin.  Richard nodded, he'd heard the story from AL when they were in college when he'd asked how her brother had gotten the nickname as well.  He smiled at the consideration that Jazz seemed to offer Thorny, the gentle care and his air of protectiveness, Richard wanted that for himself and hoped that one day he would find someone who wanted to care for him as much as he'd want to love them.  Without warning, his eyes slid over to Vet, they hadn't talked about the kiss they'd shared in the park, he could only hope that it wasn't a fluke.  Maybe the gorgeous cowboy could actually want him one day?

     "...she told me later on that she had been thinking about admitting herself into one of those assisted living hospices, you know for like disabled people, because she felt like she was being a burden to her family and she didn't really have anyone to talk to.  She said she was starting to become depressed.  I didn't think anything of it, but she said she read a blog post of mine that inspired and uplifted her to not only accept where she was, who she'd become after this injury but to make her situation better.  I wrote her back to thank her for thanking me and we've been talking ever since.  She's a published author now and dedicated two of her book series to me and Jazz.  We felt really honored, especially when she said she'd perform our wedding," Richard heard Thorny saying, before the small blonde blushed and ducked his head shyly.

     "You'll have to excuse Thorny.  He's not usually so talkative, he's actually the shy one, but if you ask him about Vee, or our kids, or our family and well, he just sort of lights up," Jazz replied with an indulgent smile at his partner before kissing the smaller man on his temple.

     "Your friend Vee?  The one you called on the phone?  She said that to you?" Richard clarified.

     Thorny nodded, "She's a disabled vet, was in the Army for a while.  She encouraged me and Jazz to come to New York this weekend, said she had a good feeling.  She even paid for our tickets, said it was her way of saying thank you," Richard watched as the blonde shrugged.  "I don't think I really did anything, but she said I'd never really understand how special I was."

     "Ain't that the truth," Jazz agreed with a grin and the two men shared a sweet kiss before breaking apart with a smile.  Richard turned to Vet and the two men found themselves locked in a heated gaze.  He couldn't understand his reaction to the cowboy, he wanted to drag him off to the nearest room, strip off all of their clothes and have him fuck him so hard he couldn't walk for the next week.  An announcement over the PA system, snapped them out of their reverie and they both cleared their throats and smiled over at Thorny and Jazz who were standing up preparing to leave.

     "I remember when Jazz and I used to get lost in each other's eyes like that," Thorny smiled happily.

     "We still do honey.  When you have a connection like us, a deep love like ours, that never goes away," Jazz reminded him, before with a wave and placing his hand on Thorny's lower back, he led the smaller man towards their plane.

     "I want that," Richard sighed dreamily, not really speaking to Vet, but needing to put out the desire into the universe.

     "I believe that you'll have that.  In fact, I know you will," he heard Vet state, the Texan's deep voice caressing his body and leaving goosebumps and shivers of delight behind.  Richard turned to look at the other man and although he couldn't be sure, he thought he could hear the unspoken end to his statement: I believe that you'll have that.  In fact, I know you will...with me.

*That was a special chapter/part for Thorny, as a thank-you.  I hope you saw what I was trying to tell you.  If I could blush I would.  LOL.  Anyway, hope you all enjoyed.  Next one will be up tomorrow!*

Book Review of Ally Blue's Oleander House

Oleander House by Ally Blue
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I enjoyed this book, although Beau pissed me off with his hot/cold act.  I could sort of understand, but I'm a hopeless romantic *shrug* I was expecting him to act differently.  There were parts of this book that had me glued to my Kindle screen and parts where I covered my face and read through the slit in my fingers (silly I know but I get into books the way other people get into movies).  And I must say this is the first m/m suspense book I've ever read that actually made me tear up a little.

I am glad that I bought all of the books that were available in this series because as soon as I finished this one I drank an entire bottle of water and then started on book two.  I suggest this book to lovers of m/m and suspense books all over.  Ms Blue did a great job on this story.


View all my reviews

Unthinkable: Part Three

Part Three:

    I'm not crazy....I am crazy....I have to be crazy....why the hell am I doing this?  Oh yeah because I'm crazy, Richard's inner monologue was going to actually drive him crazy if he didn't calm down.  Wiping his hands on his jeans, he slid his gaze over towards Vet's profile.  How could the other man be so calm about all of this?  Did he often fly halfway across the country to give people shared custody of newborns whose parents had died and then pack them up to move them back to Texas with him?  Maybe that's why he said he had an unusual family, maybe they're like a cult or something, he thought irrationally.  He grunted, he knew that he was being silly, he'd known AL for years and she'd never given off the vibe that she had been raised in a cult, she and Cameron seemed completely normal.  So why was it that being around Vet, talking with him, packing up to move with him, just felt so...weird?
    Maybe it's because it doesn't feel weird to you at all.  You feel like you've been waiting your whole life to meet this guy and now you're trying to talk yourself out of it.  He already gave you a way out and you know AL, this is just her style of leaving her children with you and letting you find out when you didn't have a way to argue back with her, Richard reasoned with himself.  He scoffed at himself.  He sounded like one of those mushy, hopelessly romantic, helpless characters in one of those romance books that AL was always reading.  Yeah right, who writes romantic stories about gay men anyway?
    "Here we are," Vet's deep, smooth as melted chocolate voice yanked him out of his musings and soothed his racing thoughts as well.
    "How do you that?" he asked without thinking.  He watched as Vet pulled the key out of the ignition and after unbuckling his seatbelt turned to face him.
   "Do what?" he questioned, dark, bushy eyebrows raised in amazement then lowered in confusion and Richard wanted to scream that he watched their movement with fascination.  He was sick...no, he was horny and he needed to get laid...like yesterday.
   "I don't know.  Talk," he responded, not making any sense.  He watched Vet's eyebrows lower further as if in complete consternation before he burst into deep, rumbling laughter.  Richard's watched as the older man's mouth opened as he laughed with his entire being and his heart caught in his chest...were those dimples in his cheeks?  He groaned, someone in heaven was laughing at him, wanting to see him squirm.
    "Well, like most people, I open my mouth, think words and they come outta my voice box, same as you," Vet responded in amusement, chuckling again when Richard huffed in annoyance.
    "You know what I mean!  You talk and I don't know...I feel peaceful, like someone's wrapping me in a blanket.  How do you do that?  Is that some sort of Southern hospitality, magic kind of thing?"
    Vet's body became rigid then and Richard's eyebrows rose at the reaction to his questions.  What had he said to make the big man act in such a way?
    "Do you believe in that stuff?" Vet asked, trying for a nonchalant tone.
    "What stuff?" Richard asked as the two men finally exited the vehicle and walked into the posh hotel and making their way towards the elevator.  Vet didn't respond at first, his face set in an impassive mask, his lips set in a grim line, if Richard didn't know better he'd think that the other man was nervous about something.  There was only one other couple in the elevator when they stepped on, a young couple, who couldn't seem to keep their hands off of each other.  Richard tried to look away but his eyes kept returning to their passionate kisses and bold caresses of each other.
   "Is that normal?" he heard Vet ask from where he stood behind him, his voice sounding strained and Richard wondered if the large Texan was as turned on by the other couple as he was.
  "For New York?  Yeah, it actually is," he responded, grinning widely when their voices finally carried over to the other couple who froze and as if slowly becoming aware of their surroundings and the fact that they were in a public place, they separated and grinned sheepishly at them.
   "Sorry," the smaller man, a gorgeous little blonde, said.  "We just found out that they legalized gay marriage in our home state."
    Richard nodded with a grin, he'd reacted much the same way when New York had done it...except he couldn't remember the name of the man he'd had sex with to celebrate that night, these two looked as if they were in it for the long haul.
   "Are you two planning on getting married then?" Vet asked politely as the elevator doors opened and the other couple prepared to step out.
   "Well, we've been together for years, adopted a son, had a daughter by surrogate, we're already a family and tell people that we're married, but yeah, we're going to make it official, just as soon as we can pack and fly back home," the larger man, dark haired, with a Stetson on his head replied.
    Richard laughed silently, it was like looking at mirror images of themselves almost.  Well, except for the fact that the other couple was in a committed relationship.
   "That's really great, where's home for you?" Richard asked, hoping that the two didn't mind that they were holding them up from leaving.
   "Ohio," the two men answered simultaneously before they both burst into laughter.  It was the happiest sound that Richard had ever heard.
   "Oh honey, we have to go call Vee, she promised to perform our wedding when it was legal," the smaller man replied.
   "Well, let's go call her then," the larger man responded.  Right then a phone rang and both men chuckled, "That's probably her.  Nice to meet you," the blonde answered and the two men stepped out of the elevator completely and walked away, chattering happily with their friend over the phone and planning their wedding.
   "I'm so happy for them," Richard responded quietly to Vet, his mind imagining his own non-existent, improbable wedding and marriage.
   "Yeah, me too," he heard Vet sigh behind him and he turned to look at the larger man as the elevator continued to move up to their floor.
   "So...what stuff?" he asked again, picking up their conversation from the car.
   "Oh.  Yeah, you know, like magic and shapeshifters and stuff," Vet responded, the tension returning to his body.
   Richard considered the question, he wasn't sure why the Texan was asking him such an absurd question.  Was he trying to prove that he was unfit to raise AL's children?  Well, no that couldn't be it, he'd talked Richard INTO coming, why would he be trying to talk him OUT of it now?  Maybe he meant it as a joke?  Richard shook his head mentally, Vet didn't really seem the type to joke around like normal people.  Deciding to take the question at face value, he decided to answer honestly.
   "Yeah, I guess I do kinda believe that stuff.  There are too many things that can't be explained, besides it would be the height of arrogance for humans to believe that we're so special we're the only species around that can talk.  I mean, if we can't discount aliens, then we can't discount werewolves, or shapeshifters, or wizards and witches.  Besides Jacob Black from the Twilight series is hot!" Richard responded with a smile.
    Vet laughed and nodded, the tension easing from his body as if Richard's response had eased his mind of some unspoken worry.  Before Richard could ask the other man about it, however, the doors opened to the Penthouse suite and Richard followed the larger man through the entryway into the living area of the suite.  He'd been a little shocked that Vet had the money and the reputation to have a Penthouse suite in the hotel, but he hadn't questioned him, how would he know how much money one could make as a farmer and a cowboy?  Maybe they made a lot.  Ridding his mind of the image of Vet in a pair of brown leather chaps and a Stetson, much like the one the man had in the elevator, his muscles rippling and sweaty from working outside all day, Richard tried to desperately think of anything that would make his erection dwindle.
    Acne, bunions, my grandmother naked, my parents having sex, wearing clothes completely out of season, that lost thought was so absurd that he gave a snort of laughter and realized that his erection had died somewhere along the way.  Waving his hand at Vet's look of question, he pasted a smile on his face as he stepped fully into the room and smiled at the couple sitting on the couch before turning to look at the babies, two of them sleeping in their carriers, while one stared right at him from his.  Richard felt his heart catch in his chest and lost it at that moment to those triplets.  There was no way he could walk away now.
    I guess I'm going to become a cowboy now.


*The couple from the elevator will be seen again, it's kind of a special thing for someone special, he knows who he is!  Hope you all enjoyed it!  Hopefully I'll put up part four tomorrow.  Have a great day!! VeeVee*

New Story: Unthinkable

*Here's the new story that I spoke of earlier, I'm thinking clearly enough to post Part One.  Enjoy!*



   The first thing that Richard noticed were his hands.  They were large, manicured, tanned hands.  All sorts of naughty ideas went rushing through his mind as he saw those hands coming towards him, he could almost imagine those hands caressing him, holding him down, those long, wide fingers filling him before....
   He screamed when he was abruptly jarred out of his fantasy by those same hands grabbing him and pulling him out of the way of the truck barreling down the road.  He felt himself flying through the air, towards some unknown destination.  Okay, so maybe he wasn't flying but it felt like it, especially when he landed on something hard and then rolled onto something soft, with something large and hard on top of him.
   "I'm dead.  I just know it.  I'm dead," he heard his own breathless voice.
   "You're not dead, I just knocked the wind outta 'ya," he heard a deep Southern voice say above him.
    Hearing the tinge of amusement in the voice of his savior, he peeked open first one blue eye and then another, before his breath completely escaped him.  He was staring into the most amazingly beautiful, clear green eyes.  Black hair fell forward onto the forehead of the larger man, his thin lips pulled back into a smile, his thin nose flared slightly as if he were smelling something delicious.  Richard felt like wrapping his arms and his legs around the larger man, who appeared to be almost three times as large as his own 5'4" 119lbs frame. He may be very open about his sexuality, but a slut he was not...although, if the stranger asked him to get naked and dance around Times Square, he'd do it in a heartbeat.  He waited for the other man to rise off of him, especially with the gathering crowd asking if they were okay, and the not-so-subtle erection he had pressing against the front of his too tight, low-rise jeans.  He gasped as he felt a rumble in the larger man's chest and had to give himself a mental shake when he thought he heard the other man breathe the word "Mine".
    "You ever plan on getting off of me there cowboy?  You know so I can breathe?" he asked flirtatiously, a little shocked at his own audacity, but feeling a little saucy while underneath the muscled stranger, even though he might just get his ass kicked for coming onto the obviously straight man.
   "I hadn't planned on it, but I guess if you gotta breathe to live," the larger man rose off of him, stretching out a hand to help him up.  Richard rose gracefully with the man's help, two decades of dance training making themselves known.  He smiled and nodded at the crowd of people that asked him if he were alright, his gaze continuously returning to his hero, who stood silently beside him, almost in front of him, as if protecting him from being touched by anyone else.
   When the last person finally left and walked away, having gone out of their way to check on him and now returning to the hustle and bustle of New York life, Richard turned towards the other man, his eyes drifting up and up and up.  He felt his face flush and swallowed deeply.
   "Thank you for saving my life," he said shyly.
   The other man merely nodded, his gaze intense upon Richard's face.  When a long minute passed without a word being spoken, Richard reached down and grabbed his bag, that had amazingly been saved in all of the chaos.
   "You Richard Tillson?" the other man asked as he pulled a picture out of his pocket along with an envelope.  Richard froze and turned to face the other man.  How did this man know his name?  He nodded unable to speak.
   "I was comin' to yer place when I saw ya' leave.  Just kinda followed you, planned on talkin' to ya, or atleast introducing myself when I saw you crossing the street with the car comin' right at 'cha," the other man explained, obviously seeing the fear in Richard's face.  "My name is Vernon Tate, you knew my baby sister, Amanda Lynn?"
   Richard felt the fear lift off of him at the mention of his best friend, whom he called AL, for her initials, from college and graduate school.  He smiled at the other man.  So this was AL's older brother?  He was hot!  He stood at about 6'7", he was all muscle on top of muscle, his neck thick like a linebacker, his skin tanned by the sun, he could remember AL telling him about the family farm down in Texas.
   "Yeah!  You're Vet?" Richard asked excitedly, his naturally bubbly personality shining through as he thought about his best friend.  He sobered instantly, AL and her husband had passed a few weeks back in some kind of weird hunting accident.  Some other hunters shooting them when they mistook them for wolves.  Richard had been on tour in Paris and by the time the news had reached him, the funeral had already taken place.  "I'm so sorry for your loss," he said compassionately.  Vernon, or Vet as AL called him, merely nodded, blinking away the moisture in his eyes.
   "Um...so why were you looking for me?" he asked as he led Vet over to the benches in the park.  He sat down gently, feeling a little sore after his tumble with the other man a few minutes earlier, he crossed one leg over the other and smiled when Vet practically flopped onto the bench, his legs spread wide.
   "I don't really know how to say this, but, see Mandy, she and her husband, well they thought quite a bit of you, they felt real bad that you had to miss the wedding but still stayed in contact and she just gave birth to triplets, you know a few months before the...uh...accident and the lawyer said she left instructions for the care of the triplets," Vet paused here, his eyes locking onto Richard's as if imploring him to understand.  Richard wasn't stupid by any stretch of the imagination.  Contrary to what his father and brothers thought, he had an above average IQ that wasn't diminished or negated because he was gay or because he danced for a living.  Even with that it took him a while to really grasp what Vet was saying, but when he did he gasped.
   "You HAVE to be joking!  AL and Cameron left their triplets to me?  Why would they do that?  I'm single, unmarried, GAY, and I have a very successful career as a dancer!  I mean, well, a somewhat successful career.  I'm not working right now, but still!!  They lived in Texas and AL said you both came from a very traditional, if slightly unusual family.  How are they going to feel about AL leaving her babies to me?  And how am I supposed to support them?  I'm all by myself?  What was AL thinking?  I can't-" Richard's words were cut off abruptly when Vet leaned forward and took his lips in a hard and passionate kiss that fried his brain.  After a few minutes, when air was essential, the two men separated.
    "They left the triplets to you because they trusted you.  Both sets of parents are dead.  They left money, a house, cars, a college trust fund for all three babies, everything you could possibly need, they left it for you.  They trusted you.  Besides you really only have partial custody," Vet smirked at the look of trepidation that crossed Richard's face.
     "Who am I sharing custody with?" he asked, although he suspected he knew the answer.
    "Well, that's why I'm here.  You're sharing custody with me and I came here to fetch you and bring you back to Texas to help me raise...well...our children."

I'm Kind of An Epilogue Whore/Addict

So I love reading.  According to my parents I've been reading non stop since they first taught me (According to them I was four-but they're parents, they're entitled to exaggerate).  I know that at the age of 10, my father bought me a Harvard Collection Edition of Shakespearean plays and sonnets.  I read the whole thing in like three days (it's Shakespeare man! It was a little difficult for my 10 year old brain to process all of the "wither thou goest" and "Where fore art thou"s).  All I am certain of is the fact that I have been reading for as long as I can remember.  I read anything I can get my hands on.  The newspaper, blogs, news reports online, historical accounts, biographies, autobiographies, scientific research, statistical data, romance, action, science fiction, fantasy, paranormal, erotica, m/f, f/f/, m/m...the list is endless.

Recently I've really only been reading m/m romance books and it was after reading Fae Sutherland's "A Tender Rough"  (http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6078351-a-tender-rough), an amazing book where I fell in love with the characters, really rooting for them to be in love and have their happy ending.  Mason and Beau are wonderfully believable characters and I found myself identifying with Mason and really rooting for Beau to help Mason heal so that they could be in love and being so happy when he did. Mrs. Sutherland did an amazing job with the book.  But it was after I read and re-read the last few pages that I realized something about myself.....

I'm kind of an epilogue whore.

I mean, I'll do anything to get one.  I'll plead with the author to PLEASE write more, I want to know what happened after they ended up together.  Did they actually get married?  Did they have children?  How many? Where did they live?  How does the house look?  I mean any manner of things.  I don't know if it's because of how if my life were written as a book and ended where most of these books did, they would've missed out on so much.  I got engaged in 2002, after a lot of bad relationships, struggling with addictions and depression and suicide attempts,I graduated from high school (much to my family's amazement) and went to college, then to seminary (my father wanted me to be a pastor-boy is he shocked by me now) where I met and fell in love with a boy named Trevor.  We got engaged and it was beautiful.  Any other book, be they m/f or m/m or f/f would have stopped there (First Book Entitled "Always His"-yeah I thought about it and actually started writing it as a surprise for my fiancee at the time).  However, stopping the book there means missing out on the fact that he cheated on me two weeks before our wedding with my maid of honor, in our bed in our new home.  Wait!  What?  Wasn't that supposed to be an HEA?  Yeah, right, sure.  That epilogue would have let the readers know that there is a sequel coming.

The second book would have followed me as I struggled to get over the brutal crush my heart sustained after my failed engagement.  My moving back in with my mother, my return to drinking, partying and drugs (yes, people, I know that I will always be an addict) until I met Christopher in November 2003 (Short time I know).  He helped me realize that I didn't really love Trevor, but that I accepted him or chose to be with him because it was what my father wanted for me, because Trevor was going to seminary to be a pastor also (yeah, EPIC FAIL).  Christopher fought for me.  No one had ever fought for me before.  He fought for me, he fought with me, he made me fight for myself and he helped me heal.  More than that he showed me that I was talented, and beautiful, and deserving of love.  Christopher was my night in shining armor and we fell in love in 2004 and got engaged on December 24, 2005 (I've always had this thing about getting engaged and married on Christmas Eve).  That is where the book would have ended (Title of Book Two: "Her Southern Knight") but if the book ended there, the readers wouldn't have known that we found out Christopher had inoperable brain cancer and he passed away, all within seven months.

The third book would then have become about my struggle to cope with the death of my fiancee, the baby I had to abort because she was growing in my fallopian tube, the young girl, Catrina, I brought into my home and raised for a year, who had been part of my youth group, who became the daughter I'd always wanted.  Then my enlisting in the Army and having to return Catrina to her grandmother, both of us crying, then me going off into the Army and then getting injured and discharged, moving home then moving to Tampa where I met Brandon (who I now refer to as asshole-bet you can tell this story won't be the last one can't you?).  Brandon and I had so much in common and at the end of our first date, neither one of us wanted it to end, it seemed wrong and weird that we weren't going home together.  This book would go on to tell about how Brandon got scared about our rapid feelings for each other and we broke up for a time.  I got a job and two months later, we were back together, our relationship was long-distance for a while because I'd already made plans to move to New York, but then one weekend, he tells me he's going to Iowa to visit his family, pays for me to come and meet them and then tells me "I want you to know I bought a ticket for you to come home with me, back to Tampa, to stay with me, where you belong.  You're not going back to New York, until we go together to get your stuff."  I agreed and then we moved in together, I took care of him, his house, his dog, played housewife, while he worked.  Then we talked about moving to Iowa together and made plans to get a home there.  Any other time, the book would have ended there (Book's Title: Soulmate's Return).

Book Four would still be being written.  Following me as I get over Brandon moving to Iowa before me, with the idea that I would follow three months after, only to find out after a month and a half that he was cheating on me.  We haven't spoken since, and he didn't even have the balls to tell me himself, my baby sister, who is still facebook friends with him, found the pictures and the status change and showed me.  The book would follow my move to California, the friends I lost because they couldn't cope with my being in a wheelchair because of my injury in the Army or because they were all getting married and having babies and I just had a string of broken relationships behind me.  Book Four would be considered a WIP (Work In Progress).  With no title, but just a bunch of notes, details, scenes, characters and events, the author having no idea what was going to happen to the main character, just that it had to be time for the main character, Vee, to FINALLY have a HEA (Happily Ever After) that sticks.

Maybe that's the reason I love epilogues and sequels and even short stories that occur after "The End."  While I'm a romantic and love to lose myself in the pages of fiction in a book, I know that life goes on past the words of declaration, past the "I Do's," even past the decision to move in together.  So even if I don't get an epilogue, I'll take a short story or even a sequel that follows another couple but that shows the previous characters, still in love, still together, and with a mention of what happened to them, that what they'd planned for or hinted at in their book, actually happen.

I guess I just like to know that the HEA is actually a HEA and not just a HFN (Happy For Now).

My Slight Obsession With Gay Romance and Gay Relationships

So yeah, I'm obsessed.  I sit around all day either writing gay romance or reading it.  I have gay friends around the world, follow them on Twitter, on Tumblr, here on Blogger...

My family knows about my gay friends and even though they're like staunch, Conservative, Right Wing, Christian Republicans (yes, black people can be Republicans too), they don't spend their days condemning or judging gays.  They've never held those abominable signs that make people look ignorant and at most they tell my friends, one time and one time only that they don't "agree" with their "lifestyle" but that it's between them and God and they have no right to judge.

Yeah, my family's kinda awesome.

To everyone but me.

I have no idea how they can be so understanding to others, but when it comes to me actually WRITING gay romance, I become the effen "Whore of Babylon" and in need of like an exorcist or something.  I shrug it off, I mean, I'm laid up in bed, confined to a wheelchair when I do decide to get up, unable to dance and work like I used to, so what am I supposed to do?  I read the stuff all the time and of course I have an overactive imagination and I'm curious by nature and EXTREMELY sexual (hello!  I'm a Scorpio!!) so when I read these books I get ideas for other books as well.  I'm always thinking outside of the box (it's gotten me in trouble once or twice, which is why every time I've had anal sex I've also turned around and had my "turn" at the guy.  I think I'm turning a lot of them gay because I always tell them "Yeah, a guy could do this so much better than me".) and that makes for some really awesome writing.

My problem?  Even though my family is understanding and accepting of my friendships with "gays" they aren't so understanding and accepting of my reading and writing gay romance.  Why?  "It's a spirit and you're contributing to it."  Really?  Didn't realize that my reading a book or writing a book was contributing to the gay "spirit," you know especially since I'm a woman and not actually gay myself.

I don't know.  I figure I'll just keep making gay friends, keep reading and writing and let the chips fall where they may.  I mean, they already see me as a disappointment (I became an ordained pastor and tried to return my ordination papers, when they wouldn't accept it, I started performing gay ceremonies-oops, guess I was contributing there also, huh?), the bad seed, the one who's just "different."  Not that I think that that's a bad thing.  I revel in my differenciality.....yeah, that's a new word.....celebrate with me or move out of the way.

Passion's Hero: The Beta Prince (Update)

I’m almost finished with book two of the Passion’s Hero series, “The Beta Prince.”  I’m amazed at how quickly the books are developing.  I was planning on sending book one off and THEN starting on book two, but it’s looking as if I’m going to have two books done before I get a definite response from the publishers.

Meanwhile, I did something a little nutty (I know, no surprise there).  I have created Facebook accounts for all of the main characters (the different heroes) from the Passion’s Hero series.  Talon Versuthion, Blazell Roughshire, Buckington Roughshire, Percival Taunton, Mailon Saungfreid, Duke Mufariso, Trenton Versuthion, Rico Suavez, Tuvarion Versuthion, Franklin Mufariso, and Sutton Castezi are all on Facebook.  They talk and conversate just as if they were real.

Just thought I’d let you all know, just in case you wanted to friend them ahead of time.  Once the books get covers I’ll be able to give them all profile pictures, but for now they don’t have any.

Hope everyone has been doing well this last week.  Between writing and suffering majorly from insomnia and listening to my idiot doctor who wants to schedule me for an EKG because I “MIGHT” have CHF (Congestive Heart Failure), I haven’t been able to blog like I want, but it’s not because I haven’t thought about it, I have, I just haven’t gotten around to doing it.

Also, if you all want something really good to read (you know while you’re waiting for my books to be published), may I suggest the Midnight Matings Series by Gabrielle Evans, Joyee Flynn and Stormy Glenn or The Brac Pack Series by Lynn Hagen.  I’m addicted to both series, I’m talking about buying it as soon as it’s available and downloading it the moment I can “addicted.”  Between those and EVERY single book written by Mary Calmes, T.A. Chase, J.L Langley and Stephani Hecht, I spend quite a bit of time reading (usually when I’m trying to get some sleep).

So I hope you all are doing well.  Hugs and Kisses!  And by the way The Passion’s Hero series is going to be published under the author name: VVee Bailey or just VVee.

Which do you all suggest?

Passion's Hero: The Beta Prince (Teaser)

Here's a brief teaser for you Tumblings, this is the first few paragraphs from the beginning of Passion's Hero: The Beta Prince.



Percival moaned and thrust his hips faster as his hand stilled on the cock it held. The feelings coursing through him were glorious, supernatural, breath-taking. He never wanted it to end...he wanted it to end so that he could do it again...he was so confused he didn't know what he wanted. He bit his lip as he struggled not to groan loudly, the coppery taste of his own blood filling his mouth.



"C'mon baby, let go, I want to see you come, I want to feel you come all over my hand," the man next to him groaned in his ear as Percival remembered his part in this mutual handjob and began stroking faster. "Oh god baby, that's it, jerk my cock, make me come." Heeding the words of the broad shouldered man, Percival pressed a finger into the slit at the head of the man's cock and grinned when he felt the larger man tense before pearly white shots of his seed exploded over his hand.
 Opening his mouth to tease the older man, Percival gasped as he felt the tingling at the base of his spine that signaled his impending orgasm and yelled out the other man's name as his orgasm exploded over him, "Buck!"



Percy sat up in bed quickly, gasping and shaking from the after effects of his wet dream. Groaning he lay back on the bed and brushed away the tears that pooled in his eyes. He didn't know why he was still fantasizing about his one night with Buck, or rather Beta Prince Buckington Roughshire. The man was his mate, and should want to claim him, but he had rejected him and brutally tossed him aside after one passion-filled night of kisses and handjobs. He hated him...he loved him...he was his destiny. Percival sighed as he turned to climb out of bed, destiny sucked ass...and not in a good way.


What do you guys think?

Passion's Hero: The Series?

So remember I told you all that I was writing my first ever homoerotic/gay romance?  I entitled it: "Passion's Hero" and I am like halfway through the book already.  Well, as I'm writing, some of my characters are developing stories on their own and then today as I sat down and actually read back over what I wrote I have found that my book "Passion's Hero" is suddenly: "The Passion's Hero Series".  So far it's five books and they all have a skeletal outline.

Whew!

I'm so stinkin' excited about them all.

Will you all read them when I'm finished?

New Story/Book

So I have one book that's almost finished (about four chapters left) that is an interrcial historical romance book set during the Renaissance period between an English duke and an African princess entitled The Duke's African Bride, but I have recently gotten an idea....or two...because that's just how my mind works, for two completely different gay romance/erotica fiction stories.  One is contemporary and one is paranormal/futuristic.  They've both been swirling around in my head and I have the idea/outline for both, the title for one (Unthinkable), and even started writing the first one.  It's just a matter of me deciding if I'm going to actually go for it...I probably will...yeah, I will.

*Sigh* Now that that decision has been made.

I have become addicted to a few writers and I guess you could say that I'm like "reader stalking" them: Mary Calmes, T.A. Chase, Stormy Glenn, Amy Lane, John Simpson, Stephani Hecht, Ally Blue, JL Langley, Madeleine Urban, and Rhianne Aile.  I spend a few hours, and a few dollars, finding, buying and reading whatever books that they have, reading their blogs, their sites....it's because I truly do love their stories/books (but to be honest, I'm the same way with Susan Mallery, Lisa Kleypas, Brenda Jackson, Julia Quinn, Eloisa James, Janette Oke and Lori Wick...I don't generally stalk celebrities or obsess over them or drool over them-well, except John Barrowman, David Tutera, Shemar Moore, Matthew Gray Gubler and Michael Ealy-but they're the exceptions), I'm different, I'd rather read a really good book, especially a steamy gay one, than watch  a movie any day.

I'd rather write one too.

So I guess I should get to it.

My Obsession With Gay Men

I am in love with David Tutera and John Barrowman. Let me clarify….I am IN LOVE with them! Like, I know that they’re both gay and married and no, I don’t want to make love with them…..okay, John Barrowman is HOT so if he was bisexual then, yes, I would want to make love with him and David is sexy but him, not so much. Anyway, I want to like live with them and be best friends with them and have them be like my gay older brothers.


I don’t know what it is. I mean I have many gay friends, I actually think that my ratio of homosexual/bisexual friends outnumbers my heterosexual friends, 3 to 1. It’s not that I so much seek them out as it is that we just seem to draw naturally to each other.

But regardless of that, I think it may be posing a little bit of a problem. I mean not like, I need to cut all homosexual/bisexual people out of my life, but it’s like, I’m celeb crushing on men that are GAY for heaven’s sake! I actually told Angel that if Shemar Moore of “Criminal Minds” was gay or bisexual, I’d probably start crushing on him again. And how warped is that?

I’ve poked around in my psyche for the reason why this is, but I can’t seem to determine the cause of it all. And it’s not that I love ALL gay men, because I don’t. I loathe Clay Aiken, have a slight tolerance of Ricky Martin, and honestly wish that Perez Hilton would take a very long walk off a very short pier.

Too harsh?

But there are others like David Tutera, John Barrowman, B Scott, Richard, Angel, James, Justin, Kathryn, Maria, Ellen Degneres, Jake, people that I know are gay that I find I want to spend so much more time with than my heterosexual people. You know those people that “society” says that I should want to spend my time with.

I mean, I guess it is kind of weird right? That I smile and get all excited when I watch “My Fair Wedding” just so I can see David Tutera or “Torchwood” just so I can see John Barrowman or that I spend more time on the phone talking to Richard, Angel or Justin than anyone else.

I love reading books by Mary Calmes, T.A. Chase, Stormy Glenn, Ally Blue or Amy Lane….you know gay romance books. Richard and I were talking about this just yesterday and I told him, I know that I’m weird and it makes no sense, but what do I do about it? And why is it that I’m so drawn to gay men? I mean, even though it is strictly on a platonic level, it’s still pretty weird.

So here is my amateur psychological evaluation about my obsession with gay men:

1. No pressure emotionally, physically or sexually. It’s purely platonic.

2. No competition like with a woman. We can both find a man attractive but really only one of us has a shot, not like if it was one straight man and two straight women.

3. The relationship between two men is sort of the relationship that I want with a man. Very few words, more physical displays of affection at home but not really so much in public. A definite understanding of roles. Too many women get in relationships where they are both dominant and submissive, but in a gay relationship, I’ve noticed, that there seems to be a definite understanding of roles

4. The ease of the relationship. A straight man and a woman seem to sniff around each other before one actually makes a move and then there are the emotions, the definite problem of the fact that they speak two different languages and unfortunately someone always makes it into something more than what it actually is. But a gay man and a woman? It’s very easy, we’re friends and it’s almost instantaneous.

5. The laughter, the drama, the passion, the over-the-top expressions. For some reason, any gay man that I’ve been around, even the laid-back ones, when I’m around them, I laugh more and everything is like being on Broadway…everything.

6. The great balance of woman and man. I get the emotional compassion and understanding of a woman, but the insight, the phsyical strength, the fix-it attitude of a man. It’s perfect.

7. The level of comfort. I guess this sort of goes back to #4 with the ease of the relationship, but there’s no judging when I talk to my gay guys and funny as it may seem to my heteros, when I tell one of my gay guys how much I LOVE them, they just smile, hug me and tell me that I am “so precious” and that they love me too.

8. No judging. Not about my past, my present or what I want to do with my future. They may judge my clothing, my hair, my makeup and even what guy I want to date, but the things that matter? There’s only understanding.

9. They are beautiful. I could sit and just look at a gay man like David Tutera or John Barrowman or Sky ( http://www.thinlinebetween.tumblr.com ) and never ever grow bored. I have yet to see a gay man that I didn’t see something beautiful about.

10. The passion. Gay men sort of remind me of Italians. They are passionate about EVERYTHING and so am I. It’s surreal and kismet and such a relief to know that there are others who get just as fired up as I do about certain issues. And not just talk about it, but put action into words.

Gay men are my soul-mates I guess you could say. Maybe that’s my obsession with them? Every one of them that I have met I feel a connection with on a certain level and when I’m around them I can breathe easier, I am more comfortable than if I am surrounded by women, where I instantly feel like I have to look, talk, act, move, think and believe a certain way, where I feel instant competition and it’s a competition to the death (or the altar-which is pretty much the same thing in some circles). It is more comfortable than being surrounded by straight men, because in the same manner I feel as though I have to look, talk, act, move, think and believe a certain way because hell, one of them could be the perfect guy for me, or doing the wrong thing could make me get raped or hit on or flirted with.


Maybe that’s what it is.

I am comfortable with gay men, at ease with them. AT PEACE with them. And really, once you find the source of your peace, don’t you spend every moment, every resource, do all you can do, to surround yourself with that source of peace?