GRL Post

Here are some pictures and a vid or two of when I was at GRL in New Orleans.  Some of these are pics that I took, some are from Poppy or Jackie or Jambrea or Piper but as promised these are the pics for you all.  BTW, I'm even posting up the "Thorny Hugs" that we managed to capture on video.  That was probably one of the funniest times there.  Those of us who saw the list that Thorny put up of people to hug would randomly walk up to each other and say: "Thorny Hug!" and then we would hug, giggle, laugh and if someone was around with a camera they'd snap a shot. Enjoy the photos and the short videos of me walking down the streets in New Orleans (ignore my voice *shudder*).-Vic

The Bridge Into New Orleans

More of the Bridge

One of the shops in New Orleans

Bourbon Street...I think.  LOL.

Look at the rainbow flags!!!

French Quarter-More rainbow flags!!

All of the swag in our welcome/registration bags

Swag.  Do I see naked man chest?  Yes. Yes I do.

Swag. Free books, bookmarks, postcards, beads...

Nice, I stared at TC Blue's bookmark for a while. LOL

At the Gentlemen's Juke Joint

An author and a Go-Go Boy...sounds like a book title.

This go-go boy was so...BORING

Making Jimmy Juice

Jimmy was the best bartender ever!!

Ethan Day's hiding in the corner.  LOL.

Bourbon Street quiet...which was rare.

Damon Suede doing a reading of "Hot Head".

Damon Suede

More of Damon...I'm sort of crushing on him can you tell?

Ethan Day and Z. A. Maxfield-Thorny I totally told her about you liking her books-she said "Tell Thorny thank you."

This drag queen was FIERCE!! She's even holding a flogger as she directs traffic.  I love her.

This is her swinging her flogger right after "spanking" that car.  HIGHlarious!

Those guys asked for her to spank them.  LOL.  She was a hot, sexy chocolate queen.

Can you guys tell I learned how to finally work my camera?  Bourbon Street on a  Thursday night.  Yes....Thursday night.

Bourbon street from Devon Rhodes's balcony.

Can you guys see those people down there? They were having a fabulous time!

Damon Suede in a kilt.  He was HOT!  LOL.

Authors and readers.

Sunday's Goodbye Brunch.

Sunday's Goodbye Brunch

Stephani Hecht's sister, my new "Aunt Jackie", Damon Suede and Devon Rhodes

Damon was giving away lap dances.  LOL.

Dalton, Joyee Flynn (I had a fanboi moment with her), and Jason (who is so steamy and hot it's just...wrong)

Just guess whose ass that is.

"Thorny Hug" Between Me and Poppy (I totally love her!)

Ethan Day and Me

And more Damon Suede...I should seek help.  LOL.

I'M BACK BITCHES!!!

So this isn't going to be a normal "Vic" post but I just wanted to let you all know that I am back from New Orleans.  Got here safely.  Had a ton of fun in New Orleans (there are people with photographic evidence to back that up-LOL), there was a few bad moments, but they were separate from GRL and totally connected just to me, but I was rescued by a Greyhound attendant (I'll blog about Dre' tomorrow) who is now one of my "boys."  There was only one very bad, horrible, heartbreaking moment at GRL when I was insulted by an author in front of everyone, but *shrugs* I found out that I have so many friends and now new sisters, mothers, brothers, to back me up that the sting from that hurt, that rejection, that insult and humiliation was almost completely erased.  Almost.

Anyway.  I'm back in Florida and already making plans to save up money for next year's GRL in Albuquerque, New Mexico, in October (18-21: Hard Rock Cafe Casino & Hotel).  I want ALL OF YOU to come so start saving up your money now!!  If you do $50 a month you'll have $600 saved up by October. Everyone can do atleast $50 a month right?  And you won't even NEED that much!  LOL.  Well unless you plan on shopping.....

Anyway, I'll blog tomorrow about GRL and post the pictures I took and some from others, tell you about Dre' from Greyhound, and even about getting my heart broken by an author I used to enjoy.

I did miss you guys, I miss my family from GRL now though. {sad face}

Here's a poem that TangledO from Goodreads sent to me.  It made me cry (but in a good way).  Enjoy!


"How to Make Love to a Trans Person"
by Gabe Moses

Forget the images you’ve learned to attach
To words like cock and clit,
Chest and breasts.
Break those words open
Like a paramedic cracking ribs
To pump blood through a failing heart.
Push your hands inside.
Get them messy.
Scratch new definitions on the bones.

Get rid of the old words altogether.
Make up new words.
Call it a click or a ditto.
Call it the sound he makes
When you brush your hand against it through his jeans,
When you can hear his heart knocking on the back of his teeth
And every cell in his body is breathing.
Make the arch of her back a language
Name the hollows of each of her vertebrae
When they catch pools of sweat
Like rainwater in a row of paper cups
Align your teeth with this alphabet of her spine
So every word is weighted with the salt of her.

When you peel layers of clothing from his skin
Do not act as though you are changing dressings on a trauma patient
Even though it’s highly likely that you are.
Do not ask if she’s “had the surgery.”
Do not tell him that the needlepoint bruises on his thighs look like they hurt
If you are being offered a body
That has already been laid upon an altar of surgical steel
A sacrifice to whatever gods govern bodies
That come with some assembly required
Whatever you do,
Do not say that the carefully sculpted landscape
Bordered by rocky ridges of scar tissue
Looks almost natural.

If she offers you breastbone
Aching to carve soft fruit from its branches
Though there may be more tissue in the lining of her bra
Than the flesh that rises to meet it
Let her ripen in your hands.
Imagine if she’d lost those swells to cancer,
Diabetes,
A car accident instead of an accident of genetics
Would you think of her as less a woman then?
Then think of her as no less one now.

If he offers you a thumb-sized sprout of muscle
Reaching toward you when you kiss him
Like it wants to go deep enough inside you
To scratch his name on the bottom of your heart
Hold it as if it can-
In your hand, in your mouth
Inside the nest of your pelvic bones.
Though his skin may hardly do more than brush yours,
You will feel him deeper than you think.

Realize that bodies are only a fraction of who we are
They’re just oddly-shaped vessels for hearts
And honestly, they can barely contain us
We strain at their seams with every breath we take
We are all pulse and sweat,
Tissue and nerve ending
We are programmed to grope and fumble until we get it right.
Bodies have been learning each other forever.
It’s what bodies do.
They are grab bags of parts
And half the fun is figuring out
All the different ways we can fit them together;
All the different uses for hipbones and hands,
Tongues and teeth;
All the ways to car-crash our bodies beautiful.
But we could never forget how to use our hearts
Even if we tried.
That’s the important part.
Don’t worry about the bodies.
They’ve got this. 

Dating My Policeman is Bittersweet (a.k.a. A Perfectly Imperfect Couple)

So I was told that I never told you guys what Jack did for a living.  My bad.  I thought I had.

Jack is a police officer.

Yes, I know.  I pinch myself on a daily basis to make sure I'm not dreaming this all up as well.  But we've actually got a lot of really hot police officers here in Florida and according to Jack not all of them are "completely straight."  Whatever that means.

Anyway, I have dated a sergeant in the Army, a manager of Mcdonald's, a professor, a few college students, a financial manager of Amscot....not all of the relationships were great, some of them really sucked, but there you have it.

Dating a police officer is...different.

For the most part I know that Jack is going to be okay, he doesn't work the overnight shifts a lot but every so often I will be asleep in bed and hear sirens and wake up suddenly and reach for him to make sure that he's in the bed with me.  He always laughs when I do this and pulls me to him a little tighter.  It makes me feel better but in the morning when he goes off on duty it makes me sad and as the days pass I get more and more sad.  Not because being with him is horrible, but because it's so amazing.

I love to see Jack come home in his uniform and I must admit that I've had a number of mental erections over that whole uniform covering his wide chest and his firm ass and of course JJ who is like my second favorite person in the world (Jack Jr.-he has a mind of his own I tell you what).  If I'm sitting on the couch when he walks in the front door I put the computer to the side (because it's always on my lap) and I turn with my head up for a kiss.  He tells me I'm silly, kisses me and then goes to change.  If I'm in the bedroom, I usually just "assume the position."  But every day we seem to burrow more and more into this domestic scene, becoming more and more of a couple, referring to ourselves as "we" and "us" and "Vac" or "Jic" (yeah, guess who came up with those names?), making plans for trips to Italy and Australia and Boston and New York and Brazil, both of us knowing that they will never happen.  We lay around and fantasize about a future that we know we will never have.

And it's not just because Jack's job is so dangerous.

We're always aware that cops get shot in broad daylight, especially here in Florida, especially here lately.  We're aware of hostage situations, stand-offs, meth labs, drug busts gone wrong, car accidents, and criminals who will do anything to not go to jail or return to prison.  We know that but we still laugh and fantasize and settle into domestic bliss, neither of us wanting to borrow trouble.

But that's not what makes it bittersweet.

It's knowing that our relationship had a date of expiration.  We don't like to focus on it, we actually try to ignore that it's there but a simple conversation about us possibly moving in together (since I'm pretty much living here now anyway) turned into a few deeper conversations and us finding out that there were a few things that neither of us were willing to compromise on.  Things that put a timestamp on our relationship things that let us know that while we seem so...well...perfect for each other, we weren't meant to be together.

And that makes dating him bittersweet.  Neither of us is ready to let go.  Neither of us is ready to say goodbye to the other.  So we're both holding on to this relationship that is guaranteed to end at the end of the year.  Both of us growing more attached to the other.  Both of us falling more and more in...like with each other (you can't make me say the other word no matter how hard you try *sticks out tongue*).

And while I'm looking forward to my trip to New Orleans for GRL in two weeks, and my trip to Tennessee to spend Thanksgiving with my "family of the heart" from California, and then my trip to New York for Christmas, I want to cancel them all because they just take me away from Jack.  And then I want to call his job and tell them that he quits so that he can sit around all day with me and maybe we can figure out a way to make the impossible possible or barring that so I can torture myself and fall just a little more in like with him.


ETA: So Jack wants me to tell you all why we know.  It's more than just the fact that I need to move.  Every day that I'm here in Florida, I feel like I'm suffocating and like my spirit is being crushed.  I have always been aware of when it's time to move on and I should have left a while ago, I really never should have left California, but I did.  But again, that's not the only reason.  You all know how much I want to have kids and so does Jackson, but Jack doesn't want to have kids...ever.  For both of us it's an issue that neither of us will compromise on.  He doesn't want children, he says that he never will and that's something that I want desperately...almost as much as I want my "manjunk."  LOL.  So while we want to be together, unfortunately, it's not enough.  Jack wanted you all to know so that you didn't try to give me the whole "But VeeVee you can stay" talk.  I already had that talk once and it's just a little too hard right now, to have it again.
But don't worry until we have to say goodbye, we will be lighting up the sheets.  And yes, that is a term.  *Rolls eyes* You guys!  LOL.