Sunday, June 17, 2012

Happy Father's Day Dad!

I used to hate celebrating Father's Day.

Sue me, but growing up with the biological father that I had I didn't think that there should be a day where I had to honor him for being a deuschebag and an asshole. I would look for cards that didn't lie, no "Thank you for being the world's greatest father!" cards here. I looked for cards that said what a good father was but that never stated that the receiver of the card met the criteria (sneaky and wrong I know, I am all about the subversive). I hated spending my money on gifts that neither he nor my stepfather deserved, but every year I did it because it was expected of me and because I cared what people said about me and didn't want to appear cold-hearted and cruel. Regardless of how true that assessment of my character may be.

After Christopher and Vivianna died I hated Father's Day because it reminded me of what I lost as well as making me feel all alone. So when June rolls around I usually start to go into "Vic Hibernation" because the summer is hard for me. Father's Day, the anniversary of Christopher's death and the anniversary of the day that I lost Vivianna.

This year Father's Day is different for me. This year, and every year following, I get to honor an amazing man, someone who deserves one of those "World's Greatest Father" cards, Aleksandr Voinov, my Dad.

He didn't hesitate (or call me crazy) when I mumbled out a request for him to be my father and then hid myself away waiting for his response. It wasn't just lip service to him. He stepped up to the plate and took on the role with the same determination and fierce intensity that he uses to write, tackle major issues, and fight against trolls. He cares about me, asks about my well-being, actually reads the long ass emails that I send him almost every other week... Best of all, he calls me his son with no hesitation. Claims me publicly and tells others how happy and proud he is of me.

I constantly feel humbled by the fact that he's my father. That I get to call him Dad and he calls me son. That he cares about me enough to redirect me when I'm headed in the wrong direction without judgement. That he listens to me rant and offers advice and always, always offers encouragement and care. That he is always on my side and that he is fierce in his role as my father. That he didn't hesitate to accept and embrace Chipmunk when I told him about her and cares about her and treats her with kindness and care, just like a grandfather should (sorry about the whole you being a great-grandfather thing at such a young age there Dad). All these things make my Dad amazing, one of a kind and uber special. For someone like me who spent years of his life praying to YHVH to kill his biological father just to be free of the pain, torture, heartbreak and grief of having the man in my life, it's nice to have a father that I can and do thank YHVH for.

So happy Father's Day Dad. I hope your day is beyond fantastic and that I can be and will be just as caring and awesome with my own children as you are with me.

Love you!

Your Son,

Vicktor Aleksandr B


  1. Makes me miss my dad. He was the one who supported my decisions, even if he didn't agree with them. Glad you've got a great father in your life Vicktor!

  2. :) I like this. My dad and I... well, we're a bit more of the first description. I hesitate to thank him for his "contributions" to my life, because while they HAVE shaped me, it hasn't always been in positive ways. My stepfather is, we'll say, a much more consistently good influence.

    But, I wish them both a happy Father's Day, because that's me. XD


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