Why Angel is Still My Friend (More Conversations With Angel)

I put up some of this on Facebook, but I'm pasting the entire conversation between Angel and I here on the blog because it's a fracking hilarious conversation that had me laughing out loud.

Literally.

Angel: What are you going to get your dad for Father's Day? 

Me: Are we talking about my dad dad or my adopted dad? 

Angel: Your dad. 

Me: Umm...who? 

Angel: I thought you only had one dad. The other guy is your sperm donor, but you only have one dad. He was just waiting for you. 

Me: Aww, that's kinda sweet man. 

Angel: Shut the hell up, what are you buying the man. 

Me: Wait... what? 

Angel: (groans) God you are so slow sometimes, you need to stop smoking the pipe. 

Me: (laughing) 

Angel: See? 

Me: Seriously though, I have no idea. 

Angel: Because you're slow. I don't know why I hang out with you. 

Me: 12 by 2. 

Angel: Oh yeah.

Me: It's why they all stay.

Angel: Not all of them.

Me: The smart ones.

Angel: Right. Like....

Me: Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

Angel: What?! I'm just saying, I'm really the only friend that you have.

Me: Nuh-uh!

Angel: I'm not talking about those women who are your friend because you're the hot gay black guy or because they secretly hope to get you drunk one night and try to turn you straight. I'm talking about those of us who are your friends in spite of you being gay.

Me: Yeah, so I have....

Angel: Oh, (fake sob) This is so sad.

Me: What?

Angel: This moment when you realize that you have no friends.

Me: Ass. Hole.

Angel: You. Want. It.

Me: Eeewww! Gross.

Angel: (laughs) I just know that this is going to show up on your blog.

Me: (chuckles) Oh yeah? How do you know that?

Angel: Because I'm interesting and you're desperate.

Me: (gasps) Desperate for what pendejo?

Angel: (giggles) Friends.

Me: (groans) You have so got to let that go. I have friends.

Angel: No you don't.

Me: Yes I do.

Angel: No, you really don't.

Me: Yes, I really do.

Angel: (sighs) Fine you have friends.

Me: Thank you.

Angel: But they're all still your friends for the same reason as me

Me: My scintillating wit and sense of humor?

Angel: Your big ass cock, bubble butt, big juicy lips and that deep ass voice that makes a person want to cum just hearing it.

Me: (choking)

Angel: Yep, that's what we all want to do.

Me: (gags)

Angel: And that

Me: Gods, just stop. Please, just stop.

Angel: (laughing) Now, back to our original conversation.

Me: We were having a conversation?

Angel: Yes, now... what are you getting your dad for Father's Day?

Me: I don't know... me? A story I wrote just for him? An all expense paid to the imagination island of his dreams??

Angel: Cheap. Ass.

Me: And you still can't afford it.

Angel: Good one.

Me: It's why you love me.

Angel: Nope, that would be

Me: (interrupting) I know, I know.

Angel: I'm just saying, you could make a fortune just letting people pay to see it.

Me: What is with you today?

Angel: I'm trying to figure out what to get James's father for Father's Day.

Me: So you're talking about my dick?

Angel: It is the gift that keeps on giving.

Me: Dumbass.

Angel: So... what are you getting your dad for Father's Day?