Conversations With Angel

I thought I'd share some hilarious (and smexy) conversations with my friend Angel since tomorrow is his birthday! (Woohoo! He's turning the Big 3-0! Getting old man...getting so. OLD. LOL. Just kidding. I'm a year behind the crazy Puerto Rican, so you know.)

Anyway. These conversations span the 14 years that we've known each other (it will be 15 years come August 18th) and cover a variety of topics. Some of them include other people. So enjoy! (I can't remember all of them exactly word-for-word and some I took from IM chats that I saved)

About Vic Being President (May 23, 2012)

Angel: You know, Vic, you should really run for President. Stop joking about it and do it.
Me: I can't do that.
Angel: Why?
Me: They might find the bodies.
Angel: (silence)
Me: Angel? (chuckles)Angel: I'm just trying to remind myself that you wouldn't really do something like that because sometimes.....well, I just don't know. 

When Vic Came Out (Summer 2011)
Angel: Duh!
Me: What do you mean duh?
Angel: Why the HELL do you think Justin and I started calling you Vic and Shaq back in high school?
Me: Because I liked playing basketball, I'm tall, and as a nickname from my middle name?
Angel: Hell no bitch! Because it was obvious way back then that you were more guy than girl. Actually you weren't girl at all. The only thing girl about you was your private parts and we swore that was an illusion.
Me: Well damn, why the fuck didn't you guys tell me?
Angel: We did! You obviously don't speak COMMON SENSE!

About Angel and James Getting Married
Me: Well praise the Lord and pass the lube!
Justin: I know right? I thought that the two of you were going straight to hell.
Angel: (laughs) What? Why?
Me: Um...hello?! That whole sex before marriage thing? Sends you straight to hell.
Angel: What about the whole us being two men thing? You know, the fact that we're gay. Won't that send us to hell?
Me: Nope. Not that I know.
Justin: (gasps and screams) WAIT!!! YOU'RE GAY??? WHEN THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN??

At A Coffee Shop In NYC After Justin Starts To Sing "Summer Loving"
Me: Why the hell do we hang out with him again?
Angel: Because he's cute.
Me: Okay, I'll give him that, but why are we still sitting here while he tries to embarrass us?
Angel: (pushes away Justin as he leans over to sing with his lips pressed against Angel's throat) Because he's hot.
Me: (sighs) Fine. But seriously, why do we still think he's hot after all this time?
Angel: (grins) Because I've already slept with him and you want to.
Me: Oh yeah.

At Lunch. McDonald's, NYC. Justin Starts Singing "You're The One That I Want"
Angel: Oh hell. Not this shit again.
Me: You're the one that won't kick him off the island (shakes head at Justin, refuses to sing along)
Angel: I think I keep getting hypnotized by his muscles.
Me: They are pretty.
Angel: Not as pretty as his dick.
Me: No fair, I want to see how pretty it is.
Angel: You want to see how pretty it tastes.
Me: That too.
Angel: I guess we know why I won't kick him off the island.
Me: Yup. Damn him and his gorgeousness.
Angel: I know right? Bastard.

Senior Year. Drama Rehearsal for "Calamity Jane"
(passing notes)
Justin: What about Mr. Fritz?
Angel: Pass
Me: I'd do him. I like the goatee.
Ryan: Eeww. No.
Justin: I'd let him do me. As long as he kept shouting out "Move It Thomison!" "Start Over!" and "One More Time!"
Ryan: Gross.
Me: You're such a slut Justin.
Angel: Since you put it like that, I totally wouldn't mind a little extra rehearsal time with the director. I need to make sure that I'm projecting well.
Me: You're a slut too Angel.
Angel: No bitch, I'm not a slut, I'm sexy.

Talking About GRL 2012
Angel: So, wait, all you all are going to do is sit around and talk about books?
Me: No! We go on events and have activities and shit.
Angel: But it's all centered around books.
Me: Well...yeah.
Angel: So...it's like a convention for gay nerds and the women who support them.
Me: No! Besides, you say nerd like it's a bad thing.
Angel: No I didn't. Nerds are hot. Nerds fuck better than anyone, because they study so hard and want to make sure that everything is perfect.
Me: You are such a bastard.
Angel: And you are such a nerd.
Me: Does that mean that you want me to fuck you?
Angel: Yep, me and everyone else that's going to be at your little Gay Nerd Convention.
Me: It's Gay Rom Lit!
Angel: Okay, okay. Gay Rom Lit.
Me: Thank you.
Angel: You're welcome...but you should really see about them changing the name to GNDIB.
Me: GNDIB? What the hell is that?
Angel: Gay Nerds Do It Better (laughs)

After Hearing Vic's Deeper Voice Mother's Day 2012
Angel: Holy fuck! You sound sexier than hell.
Me: (laughs) Thank you.
Angel: No, like seriously. Little Angel just woke up.
Me: Eeww! Gross.
Angel: You know the more you talk, the harder he gets.
Me: Seriously? But we're like family. Brothers.
Angel: Hey, you're the one that sent me those books about the twins and the brothers getting it on. That could totally be us.
Me: Okay, this conversation is a little squicky.
Angel: My pants are a little squicky.
Me: Angel!
Angel: That's right, scream my name Chocolate Thunder! Make me cum!
Me: Chocolate Thunder? Seriously Angel?
Angel: If you say my name one more time, you're totally going to hear me have an orgasm right here on Skype.
Me: You are a dork.
Angel: C'mon, you know you want to say it. I'm right there.
Me: What the hell are you talking about?
Angel: You know what I mean Vic. C'mon. Please Vic? Please?
Me: Angel, you know how I feel about guys saying please to me-
Angel: (groans loudly)
Me: (silence)
Angel: (grins)
Me: (stares with wide eyes) Did you seriously just.......
Angel: Your voice is hot. (shrugs)



LOL. I love Angel. Never a dull moment with that guy.

Happy Early Birthday Angel! I love you. Thanks for friending me all those many years ago and for sticking around. I would never trade you and can never repay you. Te amo mucho mi amigo.


-Vicktor Aleksandr B