Friday, December 9, 2011


(It's been a while since I've written a poem, because they never flow easily, they never rhyme and my teachers always hated them...all except one. Dr. Thompson told me that my poetry was like watching me perform open heart surgery right in front of her. Seeing, smelling and watching the blood flow from my chest and then watching me stitch myself back up and continue living. It was graphic, but she was a literature professor.
All I know is that I put my thoughts to paper, or to screen as I've done here. It's usually one thought, one line, one word, one picture that grips me and propels me forward. This time I got all four. 

One thought: I can't see us ending

One line: I imagine my future and he's always there

One word: You

One picture: His

And from that, this.....poem...this long, drawn out thought arose and bombarded me and wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it, so I did. Enjoy!)


At the beginning of every relationship I've had
I've seen the ending of them
I've seen that moment when they're no longer in my life
And I've seen myself smiling and happy without them
But from the moment I confessed my feelings for you
Things have been totally different
I can't see our ending
That moment when you're no longer around
I imagine my future and you're always there
I think about myself in 5 years, 10 years, 30 or more
And always I see your face.

I thought that my soul mate had left this world and me behind
Left to wander and grasp at scraps of emotion and feeling
In my despair I never thought to breathe refreshing air again
I thought that my heart remained in my chest, but no longer beat
I imagined myself as a broken shell of a human being
No warmth, no life, nothing but vapor

But then I met you.

And like a tidal wave of air you rushed into my life
And I took my first gulping breath of air
And I could feel the prickling sensations of life returning to my body
I could feel the grief again, the fear, the anger, the sadness
I could feel the hope, the longing, the yearning, the happiness
I could feel love again
True love
The kind that doesn't play by society's rules but makes its own
The kind that knocks those affected by it on their asses and laughs
The kind that people write about
The kind that people sing about
The kind that seems to last

And I felt the fear that I was feeling this
Something so much stronger than I'd ever felt before
I felt the yearning and the longing, the hope that you felt the same
I felt my limbs trembling with the desire to claim you as my own
To discover the broken places and heal them, to make the strong places stronger
To protect and strengthen the weak places
To fit our pieces together

Because that's what you do to me
Your pieces, fit my pieces
Your strengths are my weaknesses and your weaknesses are my strengths
I want to become better because of you
I want to conquer the world and lay it at your feet
I want to discover new worlds and claim them in your name
I want to save the world so that it's safe for you.

I want a future
With you.

I want to dream
With you.

I want to live
With you.

I want to laugh
With you.

I want to cry
With you.

I want to be
With you.

I want to love

-Vicktor Aleksandr


  1. This reminds me that life is a work in progress.
    This reminds me that love is an unending miracle.
    This makes my throat tight, and scratchy from tears.
    Is heart surgery, performed live, with cameras rolling.
    This is a heart's dance of renewal, and this makes my heart happy.

    Bravo lil' bro.

  2. Thank you Kerstin.

    Cherie your poem was better than my poem. LOL. Can I use it and replace this one?

  3. Beautiful :D

    Don't replace it. I like how you let us into your heart. *hug*
    It speaks to me.

  4. Vic, you are so NOT allowed to take this down. It's absolutely beautiful. =)

  5. Yes ma'ams! *Salutes Blaine and Adara* I will leave the poem up. Besides the babez loves it and I must keep him happy.

  6. Beautiful! Absolutely beautiful!!


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