You all may remember me talking about my ex Brandon, whom I affectionately call "The Ass."
Some of you may think I call him that because he's an asshole, and you'd only be partly right. Brandon is the ONLY boyfriend that I've ever had who always had to drink or get high before he'd want to get all affectionate with me. Gave me quite a complex.
That's because Brandon is a bottom, but he didn't know that until he met me.
One night we were talking and I had done something extremely sweet for him and he said I could have whatever I wanted so I, with all of my "Smooth Vic Swagger", looked at him and said "I want that ass."
LOL. I know, classy.
Anyway, he drank, we used lots and lots of lube because he was so scared and then when we got him naked I discovered why I would be calling him "the ass" for the rest of my natural born life.
Brandon has got a ghetto booty. To see a ghetto booty on a natural born black woman is common place, to see it on a natural born black man is a little more common, but not so much. To see a Latino woman with a ghetto booty is rare but not AS uncommon as seeing a white woman with a ghetto booty. But...a white MAN with a ghetto booty? For a gay man it's like the search for the Holy freakin' Grail. LOL.
And as we know "Vic" is a gay man, a very toppy Dominant gay man.
When I saw Brandon's ass I wanted to weep...okay, not really, but my mouth did water and I did push him on the bed on all fours and I rimmed his ass like it was a fucking all you can eat buffet.
Oh. My. Gosh! He even cleaned his ass like a gay man. LOL.
Anyway, I fucked him, we both enjoyed it, we both got off and for the next few months that we were together, he was the "Dom" outside of the bedroom, while I played the part of "wifey" or "househusband" but in the bedroom, I was the fucking MAN! LOL. *Shivers of delighted rememberance*
Our relationship didn't really end all that well, even though I introduced him to his current partner. Oh we didn't argue or anything, but he knew it was over and didn't tell me and when I found out...let's just say you don't want to fuck with a Scorpio. I didn't out him or do anything horrible to him, but for a few weeks he got pictures sent to him of the two of us together. Him handcuffed to the bed, me with my strap on about to fuck him. *Shrugs* Not one of my better moments but hey, I have a temper.
Anyway, while it's not unusual for me to hear from him, when he called me yesterday to tell me that he and his partner were going to be in town and they wanted to meet with me I said yes. Had I known what the meeting was about, I would have brought a tall bottle of vodka or scotch or something.
Brandon and his partner have decided that they want to have children. At first I thought they were asking for my eggs and I thought "Wow I'd be able to stay with Jack, I'd just fly up and visit. Perfect solution!" But, I got ahead of myself and got horribly disappointed.
They are going to use Brandon's partner, Brian's (yeah I call them B & B...and I always crack up when I do), sister's eggs, but they want me to move to Iowa for a while and carry the eggs for them. So they want me to actually be the surrogate. When I asked why Brian's sister couldn't do it, I was told that she didn't mind giving up an egg (or two) but she didn't want to ruin her figure by carrying someone else's child. Apparently, I have no such qualms.
So. Yeah. They asked me and I told them that with everything going on that I'd have to think about it....like seriously think about it. At this point me being pregnant would be BEYOND weird, and I sent Jack a quick text message and even he was like:
Jack: Goddammit baby, Idk. On 1 hand no b/c ur egg not good enuff? On 2 hand u can help and b preg. On 3 hand too weird.
Thank you Jackson, so eloquent, but exactly what I was thinking. Because you know I asked them why not my eggs (especially since I'm so goddamn fertile) and they looked at each other all nervous like and said "We don't really want a black baby...or at least not a really dark brown one."
I chose to not have that be a racist statement and purely a matter of preference.
So I have this decision to make about if I'll carry for them or not. On the one hand I'd be able to move. Have a place to stay (with them-all expenses paid). And that's good. On the other hand, this whole thing, what they said about the "black baby" and everything just sort of makes me feel...icky.
*Sigh* I'm not going to worry about this right now. I'll think about it more AFTER I get back from NOLA.
I'm not normal, I love being different, and it's one of the sexiest things about me...next to my creative brain and "Lil' Big Vic".
No H8
Dear Vic,
ReplyDeleteyou should really trust your first instinct. If the idea doesn't feel good without thinking about it...it is not a good one. I'm just saying.
Yeah, you're probably right. But I love helping people...Ugh, I'm so conflicted.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Chris... Trust your instincts on that.
ReplyDeleteI know that you love helping people, it's one of the things that make you such a wonderful person, but this is huge. Think carefully about it and don't rush your decision. {hugs}
Thanks Katharina. I made a list of pros/cons that I'll keep working on while I'm out of town. I'm hopeing that by the time November rolls around I'll have made a decision. LOL.
ReplyDeleteJust think about it Big Bro and ask yourself questions but don't think to hard...Love you!
ReplyDeletewow, Vic, I don't know what to say. I had the same response as Jack as in your eggs aren't good enough. It seems to me that this is a really huge thing they are asking and I think the way you responded is just once again proving what an outstanding person you are. They said something that I personally was offended by ( while it's not overtly racist, it's definitely covertly racist- a microaggression, which is probably why you're not sure how to respond- i.e. you can't prove it's racist but it makes me you feel like you said icky, as in you don't even know how to respond to it) and despite all that, you still are giving it fair thought. What can I say? You really impress me Vic. You are such a kind generous person and if you did decide to do it, they should be thanking their lucky stars but I'm guessing they already knew how giving and considerate you are. I don't really have any advice since this is your body, your decision but I was not happy with what they said to you and very impressed by your response but then again, I've already mentioned that I think you need to remember that you are a great person (I am all about positive reinforcement since there's so many shitty people in the world that when someone is actually a good person, they have to know that. I hope you keep your head up and always remember.)
ReplyDeleteThat was my two cents. Have a great time at NOLA!!!
-Tangled
Wow Tangled. Thank you so much for that comment. Your response is very much like Jack's. He swears that they were insulting me and that they were being racist but were playing on my generous nature and my need to find a place to stay outside of FL.
ReplyDeleteI am still going to give myself a chance to think about it, but I'm leaning more towards no. I've never had anyone tell me that they didn't want to use my eggs b/c they didn't want "black babies." It was very disturbing to hear.
I think black babies are cute. Besides the baby would be mocha or hell, with my family genetics, that baby could come out as pale as the driven snow. LOL.
Thank you again for commenting and even being insulted on my behalf. I appreciate it and I'll certainly keep all that you said in mind. Thanks again.
{HUGZ AND SQUEEZES AND FIST BUMPS}
Vic
Baby, you know my opinion. They are arrogant, uncaring, slightly racist, hurtful assholes. I'm quite afraid that their child may be the spawn of Satan that claws its way out of your body. I say for you to say no, you're too nice for your own good, it's why you're still friends with some of these people online and here in town who keep screwing you over. Say No. Your decision, but say no. Love you.-Jack
ReplyDeleteThat's, um. Kind of wow. Not in a good way. I can understand wanting to use the sister's egg, wanting their child to be biologically related to both of them. But then to say that it's OK for you to go through the physical trauma of pregnancy, but you're too "black" to contribute DNA is so insulting.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I don't know exactly what your physical condition is, but I know you've talked a lot about pain and such. Have you considered what carrying a baby would do to your back or whatever else you injured? Would you be able to take the pain meds you need while pregnant?
Becky: No, I wouldn't be able to take the pain meds and after month six I'd probably have to go on bed rest. I hadn't even considered or thought about that aspect of it. You're right though. Thanks for that!
ReplyDeleteJust wow (on their part). I cannot fathom someone actually saying that. I would have been so pissed if I'd been standing there.
ReplyDeleteBased on what Becky brought up, and again, if it were me, I wouldn't risk it unless it was my own child for myself (unless I didn't want children). But if it might do you harm, say no.
Hope you're having a good time!