I must admit that I was proud because I know that that means that everyone is seeing how amazing he is, but I was jealous. Jealous that I wasn't there, jealous that he was having fun without me, and jealous that while I was thinking about him, he obviously wasn't thinking about me.
I know that part of that is because of how mad he must still be at me, but I think mostly it was because he is pushing away thoughts of anyone or anything that makes him sad. I know that he is planning on doing a ceremony for his granny sometime this weekend and that he has already talked to some people that he hadn't heard from for a while. People who have ignored him and hurt him have contacted him and I know that made him feel better.
And I know that he is doing something that is going to help his writing career and make him friends and family. I support that and I'm happy he's doing it.
But I'm a little upset that he had to go all the way to New Orleans to do it. I know that I'm whining and maybe it's the absence of Vic that's turned me into this insecure boy, but to hear him laughing and smiling just reminded me again that he does have a life outside of me. I don't know how I feel about that.