Friday, October 14, 2011

Vic, His Two New Subs, and Licking the Twink's Ass

Vic called me at 2 o'clock in the morning to tell me about the gay bar he went to last night. He also called to tell me that he'd licked some twink's ass in front of everyone and had two of the readers/authors beg to be his subs for the weekend.
I must admit that I was proud because I know that that means that everyone is seeing how amazing he is, but I was jealous. Jealous that I wasn't there, jealous that he was having fun without me, and jealous that while I was thinking about him, he obviously wasn't thinking about me.
I know that part of that is because of how mad he must still be at me, but I think mostly it was because he is pushing away thoughts of anyone or anything that makes him sad. I know that he is planning on doing a ceremony for his granny sometime this weekend and that he has already talked to some people that he hadn't heard from for a while. People who have ignored him and hurt him have contacted him and I know that made him feel better.
And I know that he is doing something that is going to help his writing career and make him friends and family. I support that and I'm happy he's doing it.
But I'm a little upset that he had to go all the way to New Orleans to do it. I know that I'm whining and maybe it's the absence of Vic that's turned me into this insecure boy, but to hear him laughing and smiling just reminded me again that he does have a life outside of me. I don't know how I feel about that.



  1. Alright I deleted rewrote and deleted again and trying this again.

    Jack, stop whining you want Vic you know what you have to do to have him. But, thing is you haven't even found your damn self to know what you really want.

    Maybe it's the whining that is getting to me or perhaps it's the fact I want to knock some sense into you. I've told Vic my stand point. I'm going to tell you.

    He deserves love from any man and for that matter any woman that is willing to be family to him. He deserves a man that will give him everything he needs without thinking twice about it. Double guessing is NOT an option. Either you want him or you don't. No amount of whining bitching second guessing wishing hoping praying and any other thing is going to give Vic what he deserves.

    He's my Brother through and through he's there for me when I need it. I try to be there for him when he needs me as well. No one deserves love more than Vic does. He deserves to be cherished loved taken care of and most of all. He deserves it all everything life has to offer.

    I know I may seem like a bitch but, I am so sick of the whining already. Sick of knowing that the one man that made my Brother happy is sadder than hell that he's gone. You hurt him, YOU FIX IT!

    Kitty Kat

  2. Great Posting Kitty Kat - I 2nd that!!!

    Stop whining Jack!
    He is happy and that is wonderful, he so totally deserves that, he found two subs (lucky them, I'm so jealous!) - good for him.
    Vic deserves love, happiness and all good things life has to offer and he will get it - and either you get a grip on yourself and support him wholeheartedly and you share his life or you don't. But don't make him feel bad, sad or guilty about the things he wants or needs.
    Vic is important to me and I love that guy and I want to see him happy. SO DON'T HURT HIM!!!!!

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  4. Hey Jack,

    Your post made me think of this article I read in psychology today:

  5. I think everyone gets insecure when they're in a relationship. You put yourself out there. Open yourself up to a world of hurt, so it's understandable to feel a little uncertain now and again, especially if your loved one is on a vacation with out you and you guys didn't part on the best of terms.

    However you have to trust that the love you share is strong enough to let your partner fly with out you. To trust that he will come home but that sometimes you just need to stretch your wings to see if you can do it by yourself, even if you don't have to.

    What I suggest instead of staying home and listening to Vic's fabulous stories from NOLA, get out and spend time with your friends and have a little fun. You don't always need to be a couple.

    Then sit down and chat when he gets home. Don't let things build up with unsaid words. You guys love each other, trust in that and talk it out. :)


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