So about an hour ago, my great-grandmother "Granny" passed away. She was 91 years old. I'm not exactly sure if I should still go to GRL as they won't really need me to do anything for the funeral, but I feel almost selfish and cold-hearted for even considering it.
*Sigh* I cried and I'm still somewhat crying, but while it's a shock, she's been sick for a while and I'd already said my goodbyes. I'd whispered in her ear that I was a transgender homosexual the last time I saw her. Not sure if she understood but she said "That's okay baby. I still love you." So I want to believe that she did.
Am I a horrible person if I still go to NOLA for GRL?
V. Vee
I'm not normal, I love being different, and it's one of the sexiest things about me...next to my creative brain and "Lil' Big Vic".
No H8
Sorry for your loss Vic.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it makes you horrible. I think your Granny would want you to go to it as you planned and live life to the fullest.
Grieve as you will but life does go on and move forward. She's lived a long and tough life I would expect.
~Hugs and squeezes~ Love you Big Bro!
Thank you both for your words. I appreciate it. I've decided to go and do a personal ceremony for her. I know that I need to continue on as I've set out. This is what she'd want me to do.
ReplyDelete*hugs* Vic. I am sorry that you lost your granny.
ReplyDeleteYou are not a horrible person for going, I think your granny would want for you to live your life and go on.
You will always remember her and think fond of her, that's important :)
*hugs*
Sorry for your loss. Hugs to you. I buried my grandma on my birthday so yeah, life has a crazy way of not stopping. Go, have fun and live your truth. That's the greatest thing you can do for her.
ReplyDeleteThank you Katharina and Luci.
ReplyDeleteeven if she didnt understand what it was she meant what she said. Part of me says to stay and go to the funeral because not being there is just gonna give them more bone to naw on. But then the other half says if you do go the funeral that's just gonna be drama in and of it's self! So...damned if you do, damned if you don't. At least if you go to NOLA you'll have fun and can say goodbye to Granny surrounded by peace.
ReplyDeleteCJ, it's a moot point. The funeral won't be until next Saturday because they're all fighting with each other about where to have the funeral. It's like we can't even grieve anymore because they're all arguing and bickering and getting angry. So I'm going to GRL and some of the authors there have offered to help me do a private ceremony for her while we're there. Then when they figure out where they're going to have the ceremony I'm going to show up. Whether they like it or not.
ReplyDeleteThank you though. I appreciate the comment and the advice.
I hate to say this about black folk, but why do we always, and I mean always have drama at funerals? Even at my grandmother's who I didn't know that well, my side of the family rolled up in there with drama.
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't until after I responded that I realized I didn't give you my condolences. I apologize for that.
I am truly sorry for your loss Vic. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
CJ I KNOW!! These same angry/trouble causing folks are going to be the ones crying and falling out at the funeral. *shakes head* It makes me nauseous.
ReplyDeleteI knew that you were expressing your condolences even if you didn't say it. You're better than others. I haven't heard crap shit from others that I thought I was close to. Some I understand about but others? *Shrug* I just appreciate you commenting.
Now I'm done venting about people and their foolishness. LOL.
Vic
Just saw this after work tonight. I'm so sorry, hon. *hugs* And even if it weren't already a moot point, I would have said go to NOLA and don't feel bad. Life is about living. (And money's money.)
ReplyDeleteThanks Adara. You are of course right and I think my Granny would've said the same thing except it would've sounded like "Baby? You plannin' on sittin' around wit' all dese stupid people arguin' and cryin' when you could be in N'awlins makin' connections and chasin' yo' dreams? Plus ain't you pay 'dem people money? Ain't no sense in wastin' money just so dem fools won't talk 'bout you. 'Dey gonna do it anyway, might as well give 'em somethin' to talk about."
ReplyDeleteLOL. Wow, that's exactly how she would have said it and it's so true. I'm glad I decided to still go.
Ahh,Vee Vee, sorry for your loss. I only saw this when I was getting ready for work.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you've decided to go. Can't add much more than all the others, but Life is for living and your Granny would have wanted just that for you.
Have a wonderful time, and honor your Granny by living life to the fullest.
*Mwah* *many hugs*
Sorry to hear that Vee. (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteSuzi.
Thank you Archie and Suzi. Your comments are very much appreciated!
ReplyDelete-Vic
Oh wow. I just saw what you wrote. I'm truly sorry about her passing.
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to add my support to you for going ahead and living your life, my friend. I didn't know your Granny, of course, but somewhere deep inside me I just have this little feeling she would be fine with you going ahead with your plans.
Love you, Big Sis.
Matty
Thank you Matty. I appreciate you commenting and your condolences. I decided to go and I'm here actually, and I know she would have been pleased.
ReplyDelete-Vic