He told me he's not sure when he's coming back and I can't say that I blame him with everything that happened on Monday night. I haven't spoken about it because I'm trying to forget the tears in his eyes as he asked me why his family couldn't love him, why they didn't love him. I can still feel him shaking in my arms. I don't cry much and Vic isn't overly emotional but we've both been sniffling for the past two days, him because of what happened and me because I couldn't be there to help him.
And now he's leaving for a whole week and I will pretty much have to go without hearing his loud laughter when he's watching one of his favorite shows, hearing him yell at the people on "Criminal Minds" as he tells them who the killer is (they're called something special but I can't remember what), I won't hear his beautiful voice singing or see his sexy ass shaking. Worst of all I have a whole week of no sex, no petitions for me to sign as he tries to save the world and no "test runs" of chapters and sex scenes for his books.
I hate that he's leaving for a week, but he believes and I agree that when he gets to New Orleans that his life is going to start changing for the better. Whether it's through meeting an author, a publisher or meeting a person who changes it, I know he's going to come back changed. And I'm excited to see that change.
So in preparation of his leaving I have been doing all I can to make sure he knows that he will be missed. This also helps because right now he's so fragile that it's hard to see and thank you to those of you who offered to step in and be his family, I watched him cry as he read the comments to me, heard the sweet comments he made about each of you. I heard him try to think of some way to show you all how much he appreciated it all. So I have doted on him and shown him how amazing he is and how he's not an abomination or a mistake or a disappointment, that he deserves love and that someone will love him, because while he told you all what happened he didn't share the hurtful things, the lies, that they told him.
I will miss him like hell but I am encouraging him to go, even though he almost changed his mind because I want him to be happy, to be supported and encouraged, to be surrounded by people who will not make him feel like anything less than the amazing MAN that he really is.
I'll miss you baby, but I'm happy that you have the chance to go.
You, my sexy Greek police officer, are all kinds of awesome!! I'll miss you too. And thanks for not sharing TMI this time. You're doing better and now I feel like I might be able to trust you to run off the few people who read my blog while I'm gone.
ReplyDeleteI'll thank you properly when you get home from work. *naughty grin*
Did you get that that was supposed to say "trust you to NOT run off the few people who read this blog?" LOL.
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ReplyDeleteJackson, you're adorable. Also a disgustingly good person and beautifully supportive.
ReplyDeleteAnd Vee will tell you I don't believe in compliments.
Jack your amazing and believe it or not when you do post something you get me reading. I love V.Vee to death and hope she has an amazing time in New Orleans. (Thank gods I am not going because if I did I'd not be at the hotel for long because there is a certain place I'd love to find there and it wouldn't end pretty.)
ReplyDeleteV.Vee hunny your amazing to and no way do compliments need be said your love and support and blog does it all to begin with. When I read anything from here be it good or bad I see that everything is changing and shaping out for you even if it's bad. But mostly good. (I'm going to try to get the Tate pack books in a couple days I have a little extra work in articles coming to me.)
(Oh, yeah the New Orleans deal I'll tell you one day maybe.)
Aww so glad you have someone who appreciates you for the wonderful person that you are Vic :) have a fabulous time in NOLA- can't wAit to read all your wonderful description aNd enthusiasm
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