So Is Your Boyfriend Perfect?

Today at work my partner and I were talking about our significant others. When we used to talk he'd tell me about his wife and I would tell him about whatever random guy I had hooked up with in Ybor and either taken to a hotel, gone to his house or had sex with in my car. There were few who were willing to follow me in their cars back to Lakeland (which is almost an hour away) and usually the need to jump each other's bones has evaporated by the time we'd get to my house. But now I have someone to talk about so he's complaining about his wife. She hates to clean, she hates to cook, they haven't had sex in two months and he's getting carpal tunnel in his hand. Then he looks at me and says, "But you understand now right? You've got your boyfriend living with you now." One of the best things about my partner is how understanding and tolerant he is. When I introduced him to Vic, he didn't ask any questions he just said "Yo, what up man? You watch sports?" And ever since then he refers to him as my boyfriend.

So I shake my head at him. "No, I don't understand. Vic isn't like that." He looks at me all in shock and I have to explain to him that Vic always wants to have sex, loves to cook, cleans like he's still in the military most of the time and how I'm very satisfied in almost every area. I even told him about how we said "I love you" to each other already. He sort of glares at me and says "So what, is your boyfriend perfect or something? You lucky bastard." I couldn't do anything but laugh, because if you're only telling someone the good about your partner, your husband, your wife, boyfriend or girlfriend then yes, it can seem as if they're perfect, but Vic would be the first one to tell you that he's not perfect so I shake my head again and while I don't want to make Vic seem like an evil person, I tell my partner about the bad side of Vic, his hero mentality that makes him do whatever he has to do to protect others, even if it hurts himself, his temper, how you have to force him to admit his feelings, how self-sacrificing he is. You would think being selfless is a good thing, but when he would rather lose friends and family rather than make someone choose, when he makes himself cook dinner for me even though he's sick, when he stays up all night on the phone talking a friend off the ledge and then doesn't get mad when that same friend turns their back on him when he needs them most? Well, that's when being selfless is bad. He told me that he has had three different friends live with him, who all had better jobs than he did at the time, who never gave him money for staying there, never cleaned up and never bought groceries. He's still friends with these people.

So I'm telling my partner this and he sort of shakes his head and he goes, "He knows that the role of Mother Theresa has already been filled right?" I just laughed because I'm pretty sure Vic would take offense to be compared to a girl. But I told him that in every relationship, every situation if you only focus on the bad, then that's all you'll ever see. I choose to think about the good sides of Vic and not about how some days I come home and he hasn't moved from in front of the tv, hasn't eaten, has only showered and then flopped onto the couch and when I ask if he's written anything or done anything he just sort of grins and says, "Nope. I procrastinated today." My man is the master of procrastination.

When I told Vic about this conversation he fell out laughing (he snorts when he laughs to hard-gotta admit, it's kinda cute) and asked if I gave my partner some tips about what to do in the bedroom. I told him no and then he picked up the phone and called him and talked to him and his wife. It was very creepy, but very Vic. When he got off the phone I just sort of smiled at him because he is, to me and everyone else who truly knows him, an angel in the flesh...with some definite devil horns holding up the halo. He's not perfect, I know that, he knows that, you all know that and you know that your boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, partner/partners isn't/aren't perfect either, but if you only focus on the good and the good outweighs the bad then instead of complaining about them you should talk them up to others so much that it gets to the point that people ask you if they're perfect.

Jack T.