Sunday, September 4, 2011

Life-Changing Movie: The Help

When it comes to movies based on books, I usually read the book first, but I didn't this time.  My mother wanted me to see the movie and then tell her if it was worth it.

I cringed, I got angry, I cried, I gasped, I felt sick to my stomach, I yelled at the screen, but most of all, I felt something in me finally snap.

I have always kept it in my brain about the sacrifices that my ancestors made in order for me to be able to have the life that I have.  I have never forgotten that many of them died so that I could have freedom from slavery, that they died so that I could have an education, a home of my own, a job that pays me equal to everyone else, so that I could marry a white man, so I could ride on the bus and sit anywhere I wanted to on it and so many other things that I know I take for granted on many days even though I don't intend to.

As I watched this movie I felt humbled by the things that older blacks, my ancestors had to suffer in order to be "separate, but equal," and I realized that they took risks, steps for equality, to be seen as equal in every way.  They knew that the color of their skin did not make them second-class citizens, that they had souls and the capacity to learn and be educated, that they could love and grow and contribute just as much, just as well as the whites that hired them and oppressed them.

I knew after watching this movie that if these women could be brave and stand for what was right, for what was due them, stand up for who they really were, then I could also.

I deserve the right to be who I am, to love who I want, to live how I want.  I should be afforded the same rights, the same privileges, the same consideration as those who are only male, only female and straight.  I have taken a stand for gay rights.  I always have, even when I had to go behind my parents' back to do so.  I have fought for marriage equality, performed ceremonies for "alternative" couples, but I was always the "supporter," "the sympathizer."  I was, in essence, the white people who marched for black rights, the ones who fought for an end to slavery.  The one fighting for others.  I never let people know, never claimed that I was just like them, that I was one of them.

Oh, I teased that I was a gay man on the inside, but never told people that that was actually true.  As I watched this movie I realized that I had to start telling the truth, about myself, to my family, to my friends, to those in my "real" life and not just to those in my "online" life.  So, mark it on your calendars, because I'll be marking mine September 04, 2011 is Veronica Victorian's Coming Out Birthday!


  1. I am proud of you and congratulations to your Veronica Victorian's Coming Out Birthday! You are truly amazing.

  2. Happy Coming Out Birthday! I'm rooting for you from the wilds of Indiana. I hope it goes better than you think it will. And for your own safety (based on what you've said about your family in the past) please have a back up plan.

    In a perfect world we could all be honest about who we are without worrying about where we're going to sleep tonight.

    Also, I sent you a rec over on GR. I love it, and I think you will, too.

  3. Thank you both for your well wishes and support. I REALLY appreciate it.

    My parents were not happy when I told them. Not at all. Happily, thankfully, they didn't immediately kick me out, they're hoping that my going to a VA psychiatrist is going to "cure" me, but I was told that we'd "discuss" it when they got back from Japan.

    Becky, I'm getting a back up plan together as we speak. They will be gone for two weeks, so hopefully something will happen in that time. One good thing in my favor is that they don't want to appear cold hearted to others, especially with me being "disabled" so they won't kick me out completely on the street. They'll help me get set up somewhere else, find me somewhere else to go, and then disown me. Thanks for the rec though.

    I can almost guarantee that that will be their reaction when they realize that my psychiatrist is encouraging me in this direction.

    Katharina, I swear sometimes I feel like you're my biggest cheerleader and supporter. LOL. I almost bought myself a birthday cake from Publix, but I was feeling slightly sick from the food I ate yesterday, so I'll have to get myself a late birthday cake tomorrow. LOL.

    Thank you again ladies for your support. I SO appreciate it!

  4. You are amazing VeeVee. I hope it went alright Vee. I know that was three days ago BUT I didn't get up to date until today.

  5. Hey Lucy/Kat, it's alright girl. Thank you for your compliment. They said we'd talk about it when they got back from Japan, but then they went and told everyone in the family. I'm pretty sure that they're planning an exorcism for me in Georgia at the end of the month. LOL. But I feel so much better about myself. I know that I've done what I have to do for me. Now I just need to get some of my books published so I can have an income and get my own place b/c I'm pretty sure that when I don't change my mind that my stepdad is going to toss me out. But I'm doing what I have to do for myself.


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