Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Our Date Before the Date

Jack: Wut r u doin 2day?

Me: I've got to take my sister to class at like 12:50 for her 1:00 class then just chilling in the parking lot until she's done.

Jack: How about I bring u lunch?

Me: Seriously?

Jack: Yea. It can be our date b4 our date.

Me: Hell yeah!

So yes, Jack and I had a date BEFORE our big date!!  {SQUEAL!!}  We'd been texting off and on since yesterday and then he brought me Subway to my car in the parking lot of my sister's college.  We sat in the backseat and ate our subs, drank soda and talked.  He told me about his family and I told him about mine.  He said he was worried about what would happen when my parents got back and I told him about the phone call I got this morning.  I've been given until the beginning of the year to move out.  We talked about my options.  I told him that I was a semi-writer.  He asked me what that was:

Jack: What the hell is a semi-writer? (laughs)

Me: Well, I write...almost all day.  Books, short stories...gay romance you know? (he nods) But I don't know (I shrugged-I do that a LOT), I don't think I'm really all that good.  My brother and sisters say that I am though.

Jack: Wait, your biological brother and sisters or your online ones?

Me: (laughs) My online family.  They're all super supportive.  Like Thorny, he's the really adorable one, who's like married to this great guy Jazz right?  Thorny is like the reason I'm writing this stuff and making it available for other people to read......

So we talked about my online family (yeah, you guys!) and I told him about how Thorny sent me a few nice emails right when I needed them the most and how he pretty much saved my life.  I told him about Matt's unending concern and support of me.  I told him about how Lucy/Kat encouraged me to say yes when I saw him again (he now loves her).  I told him about Kate and how she's like my Australian twin sister and was the first person that I "came out" to and how she never judged me and only supported me, and how she loves my writing, even though I think hers is so much better.  I told him about Sid, who understands what I feel so much more than I would have ever expected.

I talked for a while, gushing over my online family and he just sat there watching me talk and smiling.  When I stopped abruptly, after telling him that I wanted a relationship that was a mixture of Thorny & Jazz, Matt & Brad with a healthy dose of Vee all mixed together, he laughed.

Jack: Why'd you stop talking?

Me: Why did you let me talk so much?

Jack: Because you're fascinating.  I can see why these people love you so much.  You radiate...

Me: I radiate?  What the hell does that mean?

Jack: You radiate.  There's this...I don't know...this like light that just sort of pulls people to you and then you like wrap them in this light.  I don't know what's wrong with your family...your biological family, maybe they've been around your light so long that now they're blinded to it, but I can see why your online family loves you so much.

Me: Are you a writer?

Jack: No. (laughs) I just get sort of sentimental and romantic sometimes.

Me: You're trying to make me fall in love with you aren't you? (My eyes widened and my mouth drops open.  Yep, now I've scared him off and he's going to cancel the date on Friday)

Jack: (laughs out loud) That's the plan.

We talked some more and then I kissed him.  Then he kissed me back and then we were making out in the car.  I'm talking heavy making out.  He never touched my breasts (LOL.  He told me later that he had to stop thinking that I was a GIRL and keep reminding himself that I was just ME.  Vic/Vee.  Both male and female right now.  But that inside I am a gay man.), but he kept his hands on my ass and it was DELICIOUS!  We only stopped when the campus security knocked on the window and told us to "move it along."

I haven't made out in a car since I was a freshman in college.  It was so exciting and so fucking CRAMPED!  How the hell did I used to do that?!  We laughed and separated, both of us fixing our clothes.  He had to pull up his boxers and zip up his jeans because I HAD to see if it felt as big as it looked (the answer is a hearty FUCK YEAH!) and I had to adjust my jeans and my strap on, which he named "Lil' Big Vic".  We saw my sister walking towards the car and with a final kiss, he promised to call me later and he got out of the car.

My sister stood behind the car with a look of shock on her face.  Jack had hickeys and teeth marks all over his neck, chin and shoulders (I'm a little aggressive-LOL) and his hair was messed up.  When she got in the car and I finally got into the driver's seat she sat really quietly for a second before she burst out with:

"This car smells like sex!!"

I laughed and said, "No honey, this car smells like PRE sex!"  She rolled her eyes and proceeded to text our other sister who was at work, and my mother and tell them about "the white man that Vee had in the car."

Nothing can put a damper on my happy day though.  I had a "date" before my date and it was glorious!  But most of all, I realized how truly lucky I am to have people that have accepted me, sight unseen.  Who encourage me to live my truth and then cheer me on when I do it.

Thank you all of you for everything.  For reading everything I write (Suzi, Becky, Katharina, Lucy/Kat, Luci), for putting up with my insecurities and goofiness (Kate, Lucy/Kat), for being a constant source of encouragement and support (Thorny, Matt, Sid, Lucy/Kat, Kate, Katharnia, Luci), for believing in me when I don't believe in myself (Lucy/Kat, Kate, Thorny, Katharina, Luci) and for saving my life, even when you didn't realize that you were doing it (Thorny).

I love you all!




  1. OMG - that is sooooo romantic and absolutely wonderful. Grab that guy and never let him go, Vee you so deserve him.
    What I like most about him - he really sees you, the real Vee that great person you are and he accepts you. I am so happy for you. *hug*

    Don't let your familiy spoil this for you!!!! (sorry, but they suck...)

    And to end this on a happy note: Jack is great YAY!!!! I love this guy ;)

  2. ~Chuckles as she hugs Vee tightly~ You know what I like Jack I really do and he doesn't just see you as a woman he sees you as both Vee and Vic and hunny I think he can accept all of you.

    He loves me huh? ~Laughs~ Well he can be a Big Brother! LOL. Hun you sound like you not only had a lot of fun but, you enjoyed yourself while you had fun.

    He has a plan and so do you. He's a keeper I can already tell that. And he's right your biological family is blind to everything that is good about you! Blinded by the light you radiate as he said.

    As I see you. You have so much spirit and soul and heart to match anyone's downers they try to throw at you. You got what it takes Love Bug! ~Snickers softly~ (I have a nickname that won't jump from my mind!)

  3. @Katharina: Thank you honey! I so appreciate your encouragement, I think after Thorny you were one of the first people to start reading my stuff. I really want to thank you for that! And you're right, my family does suck (and not in a good way). Jack makes me smile, I'm so nervous that he has this like huge flaw that I won't be able to get past, but I know that's just my own fears you know?

    @Lucy/Kat: You are so amazingly sweet and wonderful. You are the greatest lil' sis ever! And you may continue to call me "Love Bug" it's kind of grown on me. We did have fun, a lot of fun *mischievous grin*. I think he may be a keeper also, but you know this is still like the "honeymoon" phase for us. I'm open and receptive to whatever the gods send my way but I've got my guard up too. But he does make me smile. I told him he had to get all of you guys's seal of approval so I can tell him he has two "yes"es so far. LOL.

  4. Don't be nervous, don't be afraid - it will work out, I have a good feeling about it. He's a keeper and it's your turn to be happy :) {hug}

    ...and for reading your stuff: honey, I love your books! I wouldn't read them if they weren't great!! I just can't wait until they are published on lulu.com - I will so be the first one to buy a copy!!! LOL

  5. It's your turn for Happiness Love Bug. Everyone else is happy I know I have a little ways but I have partners so yes I am happy with my love life. ~Kisses and hugs tightly~ Guess what you are also sweet too and your the best Big Sis ever!

  6. Right back at ya! I also approve Jack. He really does "see" you and obviously approves. Despite the mess with your family, you are a lucky man to have that. I am living vicariously thru you. I am happy for you V(Love Bug)
    And I will be the first to buy your book. Write faster!

  7. I have a feeling Jack's going to be walking funny by Saturday morning. You are such a toppy moho! And I love ya :)

  8. @Katharina: Thank you sweetheart! I will hang my hat on your good feeling then. And I will be shouting it from the rooftops the DAY that "Unthinkable" is published, so I'll let you know definitely!

    @Lucy/Kat: I don't know why you're trying to make me cry with all of your sweetness! LOL. Thank you so much {HUGZ AND SQUEEZES}

    @Suzi: I will tell him that he has your approval also! Thank you for being happy for me and for reading my stuff. You totally rock my face off.

    @Thorny: ROFLMFAO!! You know I told him that I was a dominant top and all he said was: perfect. LOL. I do believe that you're right, Saturday morning he's going to be "bowlegged." And guess what? *whispers* I love you too! {HUGZ AND SQUEEZES}

  9. Whoa! Jack most definitely a keeper. Soooo smart. Seeing your light and actually being able put it into words. Wow. I love that he understands your online family.
    I'm so excited for your date-date. LOL
    I'll just live vicariously through you.
    Love and huge Hugs coming your way!

  10. Awww Archie! You are a sweetheart! He definitely does seem like he's a keeper. And I'm excited about my date-date also. I'm trying to figure out if I should go with my gut and pack an overnight bag or play as if I wasn't expecting for us to have sex and ONLY pack my toothbrush. LOL. Thank you for the love and hugs!!

    I'm amazed at anyone saying they see this light in me and the fact that you all agree just humbles me, it really, really does. So thank you.

  11. *sigh*

    I just can't think of anything else to say to that! LOL.

    Perfect, yummy, yay. :-D

    *squishy hugs*

  12. Kate, so I take it that he HAS your seal of approval? LOL. I have found his "flaw" or rather something that is SO GOING TO MAKE ME LOVE HIM MORE! Boy is a HUGE sports fan! BUT he loves the Yankees.....we might break up before we actually get together....LOL. J/K. I won't dump him for that....now if he's a Giants fan? All bets are off.


  13. YOU have my seal of approval - I will approve of him tentatively unless he treats you bad. Grrrr. LOL.

  14. ~Hugs Vee~ Aww I don't want to make you cry but if I do it'll be a happy cry not a bad sad depressing cry. So that is a plus there!

  15. @Kate: You're so cute!! I did tell him that he was on "probation" with you and that if he hurt me that he was going to have a lot of angry Aussie on his hands. He says "Duly noted." *Shrugs* I think I will be the talkative one of the two of us. LOL.

    @Lucy/Kate: So far it's only been happy tears so you're doing well! {HUGZ AND SQUEEZES AND FIST BUMPS}

  16. Dayum. This is sooo cool. I'm soo happy for you, you deserve the very best. Right on bay-bee. Gotta love those predates.

    Live your truth. I'm going to find that book for you, the one that taught me that lesson and send it to you... off to do research.

  17. Luci: It really is cool and thank you so much for everything. I can't wait to read the book and enjoy your "research". LOL.

  18. What Kate said! LOL
    Soooo excited for Friday...A "Wooot!" and a sigh. *squirming with excitement*

  19. Aww Archie you are a sweetheart seriously! I'm excited for Friday also. I did decide to pack an overnight bag because who are we kidding, I'm sleeping over! LOL.


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